If someone were to ask me what is the most important question you could ask about your career this would be it: Is it what you want to be doing or what you feel you “should” be doing? The answer to this question is extremely telling and often determines the level of success, enjoyment, and fulfillment you can attain in your professional life. Think about it. Compare it to your personal life. If you have an event to go to that you truly want to attend you are excited, have a positive frame of mind, and get the most out of it. If you have some obligation you need to attend because you “should” or your family will disown you if you don’t, are you nearly as enthusiastic? In the end do you enjoy the experience or simply endure it?

I could certainly take a spiritual angle and assert that your experience is what you make it and that even in situations that stretch you that you could adopt a chop wood, carry water mindset:

What that means is that the tasks are the same, but who you are being as you do the tasks is totally different. While I am certainly not claiming enlightenment, I can say that I am so much better at being clear, open, and present with a task than I ever was before. Even tasks that are exhausting and not quite my cup of tea. Instead I did my best to approach it with the bigger picture in mind - serving families in need of decent housing and with the mindset that anything you do can be a meditation if you choose to allow it to be. And, when you do that a whole new world opens up to you.

I totally believe this mindset is crucial to living fully. Engaging in experiences that stretch you are enriching. However from a day in and day out perspective would you rather spend your time doing something that works for you or suffering like a martyr attemping to fulfill someone else’s expectations of you?

How do you know what that something you most want to be doing is? Read the rest of this entry »

Last week I finally had the chance to watch the Louise Hay DVD “You Can Heal Your Life”. Quite a powerful movie. I’ve been a fan of Hay House for a while and a few years ago read and starting using Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life”.

I have to say that it is one of the BEST movies I have seen. It truly incorporates the real meat of the law of attraction and positive thinking in a way that doesn’t add fluff or skim over the inevitable negative feelings we all experience and obstacles we encounter. While I enjoyed the movie The Secret if only because it got the conversation started on a big scale, it was way too materialistic focused for me. And, it didn’t go deep enough. So many people are out their either frustrated because it isn’t working for them or out there playing games simply to acquire more stuff or snag a parking space. They are missing the boat.

In this film you not only learn about Louise Hay’s amazing life including her documentary based on her work with tons of gay men during the AIDS crisis but also hear from a number of my favorite folks and leading experts like Greg Braden, Cheryl Richardson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Mona Lisa Schultz, Esther Hicks, and more. Real advice from real people who walk their talk.

I was most excited to hear Louise say that the affirmations are only the start. Read the rest of this entry »

I can’t help myself. I am so excited about the new audio product I just released that I am dying to share it with the the Coaching for Lesbians community.

Are You Struggling With Living a Truly Authentic Life?

As a lesbian does living fully and standing in your truth leave you conflicted or scared?

It’s time for that to change.

Starting right here. Right now. You do not need to be a prisoner to your fears about how you “should” live your life anymore.

That applies to your career, your finances, and your personal life. If the shoe doesn’t fit, for goodness sakes how long are you going to go around limping in a size 5 stiletto if you are really more like a size 10 Doc Martin kinda gal? I know firsthand. I’ve been there — in jobs that don’t fit and in situations that made me scratch my head. I’ve felt like I didn’t fit into my own life and that is a very painful place to be.

That’s why it is my passion to help others, especially lesbians break free of this self-imposed prison. Read the rest of this entry »

Last Saturday I had the pleasure of doing my first build day on site with Habitat for Humanity Bucks County Women Build. While I really enjoyed the seminars earlier this year I didn’t know what to expect from the day. All I knew was that I had set my intention to do whatever was needed, have a good time serving others while working on a team, and make whatever I got assigned to do into a meditation and learning experience. Good news is that I managed to do all of the above!

I ended up working on the team assigned to laying cinder block foundation. So I spent the day digging hard soil (lots of rocks in this area as I know from my own yard), chipping away mortar, mixing concrete, and laying block. While I was initially frustrated, it did indeed get better as my crew leaders had promised. I might add my crew leaders were the best — the right mix of helping, encouraging, and letting you learn as you go. What I kept thinking about for most of the day as I did the work was this famous Zen story:

“Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water.”

What that means is that the tasks are the same, but who you are being as you do the tasks is totally different. While I am certainly not claiming enlightenment, I can say that I am so much better at being clear, open, and present with a task than I ever was before. Even tasks that are exhausting and not quite my cup of tea. Instead I did my best to approach it with the bigger picture in mind — serving families in need of decent housing and with the mindset that anything you do can be a meditation if you choose to allow it to be. And, when you do that a whole new world opens up to you.

I am certainly not going to turn to masonry as a career any day soon. In fact when one of the crew asked me if I wanted to make block laying my new career, I jokingly said “I’ll choose root canal or death!”. What I did gain was a whole new respect for people who work in construction or some sort of physical trade. I also was reminded how crazy busy my mind is, how quickly I get bored and frustrated when things aren’t going according to my expectations, and just how soft we all get with totally sedentary jobs.

While I am just now getting over being extremely sore (reminds me that while I am in good shape…hiking, biking, kayaking and weight lifting do not directly translate into block laying) — I am eager to go back and do another build day in June during their Women Build A Thon. First, I must get busy raising money so I can do so.

I highly recommend checking out a Women Build in your area. It is incredibly satisfying and amazingly empowering.

I recently had the pleasure of attending some Habitat for Humanity Women Build seminars. Yes indeed I was drunk with power learning how to safely use a circular saw as you can see here…

Tomorrow I am doing my first full day of building on site. Kim (my partner) is doing it too. I’ll let you know how that goes.

What struck me about the learning sessions were:

• What an awesome group of women
• What could be more empowering than learning how a house is built and knowing that you have the knowledge to apply to your own living situation?
• You get to have a lot of fun
• Ultimately you give back to a great cause

Where might you be able to stretch the limits of your comfort zone and try something new? What would get you really jazzed about giving back to others in need? To me tomorrow will be a great stress buster and empowering experience. I can’t wait.

So I am looking forward to tomorrow…wish me luck… I’ll let you know what I learn about myself and working in a team in the process.