Rest & Relaxation (R & R) is not just a luxury for the well-to-do. It is essential to our well-being and is truly not optional. It is the lifeblood that keeps us sharp mentally and physically while giving our creative juices time to rejuvenate.

When I say R & R, what picture or words come to mind? Do you see R & R only as being a lavish vacation or available only to the “ladies who lunch”? Do you hear some authority figure yelling at you that you’re lazy, unproductive, and will never amount to anything? Do you simply see your to-do list growing if you even contemplate “relaxing”?

Read More of this article I wrote as part of my Beyond Burnout monthly eZine.

Like what you’re reading?  Subscribe to my Beyond Burnout monthly eZine for free at my website.

Recently, comments by Jennifer Beals in the January 31, 2006 issue of The Advocate and the resulting article “Season 4??? It’s in Your Hands” at at L-word.com seem to have opened a rats nest of discussion in the lesbian ranks.  Goodness knows when I shared the article with business partners and friends I got a wide range of opinions and emotions. It was like opening up pandora’s box! Lively discussions, to say the least.

Now, before I get to the meat of what I have to share, let me give you the cliff-notes version of where I am coming from:

• I am a big fan of The L Word. I don’t believe it represents everyone in the lesbian community any more than “The Jeffersons” or “The Cosby Show” represented all African Americans.  It’s not SUPPOSED to. It’s entertainment and tells the story of these particular women as these particular writers choose to do so.
• I subscribe to The Advocate and enjoy visiting L-word.com and sometimes I agree with what they say and sometimes I don’t.  That’s what makes free-thinking press and speech great.
• I do not believe in illegally copying informational or artistic products because it only hurts the creators and fans in the long run (not to mention, it is illegal).

I believe we all get to powerfully choose where we spend our money.  And, we all know that money talks, especially to the executives of big companies making many of the choices in our society.  How we choose to spend our money is one way of walking our talk.

For instance, I go out of my way to patronize the locally owned coffee shop and bakery even though it would be more convenient for me not to do so. I like the people who own the businesses, they treat me well, and most importantly they have a quality product.  Without the quality, it wouldn’t matter WHO they were, I wouldn’t give them my business.

However, I think the articles and conversations I refer to above are overgeneralizations that present the issue (subscribe to Showtime or not) as a black and white issue.  I don’t believe it is.  Here’s why…

Yes, I understand that in order to keep the show on the air and encourage the development of other lesbian themed shows, the powers that be need to see that it is a profitable endeavor.  And, the more people that subscribe and support the show, the more likely it is to be successful.  However, where I differ in opinion from the sweeping generalizations is that I believe people need to make the choice of whether to subscribe or not based on their own circumstances and integrity.  If you read the articles at face value one could almost conclude that people should subscribe even if it throws their entire household out of integrity from a money standpoint.  After all, what kind of lesbian are you if you can’t spend your last dime or go into debt to support the show??  I don’t believe in my heart that this is the intention of anyone, but it sure does come across that way.  And, what about the tons of lesbians who buy the DVD?  Doesn’t that count at all?  If you read the article, only subscribing “counts” even if you put your money where your mouth is and you purchase the DVD.  At least Ilene Chaiken acknowledged the success of the DVD sales in her sidebar of the Advocate article mentioned above.

What’s the Bottom Line?

Let’s face it in the world we live in today, money is a big issue.  Consumer spending is rampant and credit card debt is off the charts.  This is all the more reason to THINK before you spend and be conscious of whether you are in or out of integrity when it comes to your money.  Don’t let anyone or anything guilt you into making a choice that does not feel right to you.  For all you know the friend down the street with 200 premium channels and a BMW may be leveraged to the max and unable to sleep at night thinking of her credit card bills.  Or, the other friend down the street might have a bunch of premium channels and no debt at all because their passion is entertainment and that is how she chooses to spend the bulk of her entertainment budget. You have no control over what they do, but you do get the say over what you do.

Many households, relationships, and businesses encounter peril because no one takes the time to wake up and deal with the reality of money. If this conversation got you thinking from a new perspective, you might find a recent article I wrote, “Money Makes the World Go ‘Round”, to be of use. In it I talk at length about becoming conscious of and more empowered with your money.

So, support your favorite causes, entertainers, and local businesses.  It’s the right thing to do. Just make sure you do it because it feels right to you and works for your budget.

To piggy-back on my recent website related post, I wanted to take a moment to recommend my favorite web hosting company - Lunarpages.  I have used their hosting for several years. The sites I have developed on their platform range from simple static page brochues to full-fledged eCommerce sites.  In fact, this blog is hosted at Lunarpages.

The price is right as low as $7.95/month for a ton of functionality, features, reliability, and top notch customer service.

Don’t take just my word for it, though…several prominent web hosting reviews feel similarly:

• Web Hosting Jungle
• Cheap Web Hosting
• Hosting-Review

A recent research study in Canada concluded that  First Impressions Really Count with Webdesign.

Since having a website is essentially a “must-have” success component for anyone in business, this information is worth taking to heart.  The article is a little on the lengthy side, but Andy Wibbels (blogging and website expert) sums the article up nicely in his post “Web Sites have 1/20th of a Second to Impress”

In one capacity or another, I’ve been involved in web technology for over 10 years.  And, this study is not really news in that a clean, crisp, and easy to use site with an authentic tone to its content has always been the goal.  However, as the technology evolves and multi-tasking, burned out visitors surf the web, their attention span has diminished exponentially. So, you have only a blink of an eye to grab their attention or they are gone.

The best thing you can do for your business is to design your site deliberately.  If you’re planning a new website or upgrading an existing one, feel free to check out my free resource called “The Successful Website Planner” over at my Paula G Web Design website. 

One thing I have noticed about bloggers on the web is that at every turn it seems someone is using a pseudonym.  I thought the whole medium was supposed to be about being authentic and speaking from your unique voice.  I realize in the writing world that pseudonyms have a long history and people have a long list of reasons for adopting them.  Heck, I have even used a pseudonym in some of my freelance technical writing because of where I was employed at the time I started that writing gig. What I wonder, though, is why so much secrecy in the blogosphere?  There are women out there blogging about lesbian rights and equal treatment and the visibility of lesbians in the media, business, and elsewhere, yet they are hush hush about who they are.  Maybe it is just me, but I wonder about the credibility and authenticity of what I’m reading.

Ann Bartow at sivacracy.net recently posted about this very topic in her article “Blogging and Pseudonymity”.

The points she makes that really struck my were:

“…but I dread the inevitable day it is discovered that a seemingly feminist pseudonymous blogger is actually an anti-feminist man, who has been lying profusely and manipulatively about his background…”

and

“…their pseudonymity also precludes them from evolving into the visible, “public intellectual” feminist leaders that they certainly seem to otherwise have the drive and talent to become. Sometimes I wonder how much energy and sleep they lose worrying about having their true identities revealed, or how much trying to avoid identifiable disclosures causes them to self-censor, or even lie about their lives.”

You can read her entire post here.

The immediate question that pops into my authentic coaching oriented head is — are YOU losing energy trying to hide who you really are?