A thriving relationship is one of life’s most satisfying experiences. As someone who has been in a committed relationship for over 14 years I can honestly say it is one of the cornerstones of my life. And, after all these years I can still say that we are crazy about one another!

What I know for sure is that a relationship does not complete me. While that whole “you complete me” nonsense sounds great in movies and love songs, it doesn’t work in real life. I am whole plain and simple, with or without a relationship. And, until you can become more aware of who you are and what you really want from another person in a relationship, you will kiss a lot of frogs and experience a lot of heartaches and hard lessons.

That is why I am so psyched about Barb Elgin’s (Coach Sappho) new Programs for Singles. In her program she breaks it down to the fundamentals — getting real clear on:

• Who you are
• What you want from a relationship
• How to go about finding it

She takes a holistic and intentional approach to singles and is passionate about giving you the support you need to make your relationship dreams come true.

I was reading along today and came across a great blog post by Suzanne Falter-Barns on the subject of small business owners and avoiding burnout. It deals with scheduling in some “Miller-Time” everyday where you get to do something fun. You can read her entire post at her “Painless Self Promotion“ website.

I have preached this concept to myself for years, although I most recently have been calling it “ME-time”. That is, time just for me (even if that time is spent with other people) to do something I want to. It can be as varied as watching a movie, taking a hot bath, reading, or just plain poking around the house. I have found it to be as crucial to my daily well-being as brushing my teeth. When I skip this step of taking time for myself I am bitchy, cranky, less creative, and far less productive (even though I may be “appearing” to work harder).

Since I have many years of personal experience feeling the pinch of burnout and watching those around me burn to a crisp in the corporate cubicle, I recently created an entire program based on avoiding burnout by nipping it in the bud before it has you in its grips.

If you’re feeling burnout creeping in or simply don’t want to head down that path, I recommend taking a gander at my “Free Report: Top 10 Causes of Burnout and How to Eliminate Them”

Once you’ve read the free report, I encourage you to please share some of your comments here.

To me, one of the most important things is someone’s authenticity. Whether that someone is an individual or a business, I like to know that what they are saying and the actions they are taking are congruent. It’s called “walking your talk”.

It’s natural, we like and trust people who do what they say they are going to do. And this trust is the cornerstone of business and personal success. It becomes part of your brand, who you are and what you’re known for. This applies equally to multi-million dollar corporations as to the co-worker, solopreneur, or friend sitting next to you.

One of the things that impressed me most about Olivia on my recent cruise is the fact that they walk their talk from the top down in a very visible way. It wasn’t so much the “things” the staff did as much as “who” they were. What I mean is that I felt each person I encountered was being authentic and showing up with their unique personalities. They live the company philosophy which I found on the “jobs” section of their website. It states:

‘At Olivia, our philosophy for our guests is to “feel free” and for our employees is to “be me.” ‘

What a novel concept — wanting your employees to actually be themselves instead of some “one size fits all” conformity approach!

Someone at Olivia “gets it” that being authentic, consistent, and building trust is far more attractive to potential customers and guests than hard selling is.

Let me give you some examples of what really tipped my “impressive meter” based on my experience.

The leaders of the company (founder Judy Dlugacz and CEO Amy Errett) were visible and interested in having every single guest have their best vacation experience ever. For instance they:

• Welcomed each and every guest as they boarded the ship. Now, how many other companies have you dealt with that care THAT much about being accessible to and concerned with their customer’s experience? They had me hooked from the get go.
• Welcomed everyone aboard as a group at the sail-away party
• Attended all the major events during the week
• Were visible “out and about” on the ship
• Had several Q&A and similar presentations on the past, present, and future of Olivia.
• Greeted and thanked everyone aboard as they disembarked at the end of the trip

Sure there was plenty of marketing and branding going on at least daily. One woman I ate dinner with said, “They are a marketing machine!” But here’s the catch, it was authentic and expectations were clearly stated (for example: attend such and such presentation for its full duration and win a chance at a 2 for 1 vacation). Nobody minds watching marketing in action if it is authentic, occasional, and not overdone. I am the first to sniff out a sales pitch, but never did I feel like I was being “sold to” on this vacation. And, if I wasn’t in the mood to listen to a presentation, I didn’t have to attend it, plain and simple.

• As a whole the staff did what they said they were going to do. That means they were on time, available at guest services during the hours listed, and willing and able to help with a myriad of questions, concerns or problems. And, if they didn’t know the answer they didn’t shrug and say “not my job”; they referred you to the person who could actually answer your question.
• The entertainers reflected and enhanced the overall experience even though each had their own unique style. Other than the “surprise” guest opener on the final night, each performer lived up to expectations of the crowd. The hooting and hollering made that fairly clear. And, when the crowd wasn’t happy with something, did Olivia hide in a corner pondering the situation? Heck no, they marched right out on stage and lovingly challenged the crowd to stretch a little and open their minds and hearts to new ways of thinking. It takes courage and class to acknowledge when there is a proverbial elephant in the room.
• The partners they carefully chose (Holland America and its staff) reflected the Olivia standard of excellence and both entities operated seamlessly and mostly transparent to guests.
• Got a complaint? Suggestion? Request? The company genuinely wants to hear it - in person, online, and via their comprehensive satisfaction survey. Return guests could see past feedback come to fruition.

The old mantra of “just be yourself” is truly the best advice there is, professionally and personally. If you’re not true to yourself, what are you left with?

Take a moment today and answer these questions:

• Where are you showing up as 100% authentic?
• Where do you compromise who you are (maybe just ever so slightly) to fit in or please another?
• How do you feel when you are authentic?
• How do you feel when you compromise because you think you “should” or “have to”?

Nothing like returning from a vacation to let the winds of reality sweep me into a frenzy. While I’d never NOT go away because of the inevitable pile up when I return, the first few days back can often be a challenge. I’m happy to report that this time, I am catching up in a way that is much kinder and gentler to ME.

This timely post of a “stress test” by my mentor coach, Leah Grant over at her Leah Without Limits blog hit the spot for me.

I think this is a handy tool for keeping a pulse on one’s stress level periodically because stress is such a varying thing. I find it can ebb, flow, or tsunami depending on what’s going on in my life at any given time and how I am feeling about myself. The key to success that I’ve found is to be aware of where I fall on the scale at any given moment and then take action to bring myself back into a state of balance.

Hope you find this a fun and handy tool.

I just returned this week from my first Olivia Vacation, the Western Caribbean Cruise. This was my virginal voyage with the company renown for delivering extraordinary vacations to lesbian women.

I had high expectations (and goodness knows I can be tough to please) and they not only met but far exceeded them. Here’s just a few reasons why:

• The company walks its talk from the top down and it shows in all they do. (I’ll talk about this much more in an upcoming post)
• High standards of excellence. From their choices of ship to ports of call to entertainment, it is only the best for the ladies of Olivia.
• They create an atmosphere where you feel like you truly matter and are cared for. The number and helpfulness of the support staff is refreshing in a day and age where “the customer comes first” are often empty and hollow words. To feel personally attended to in a crowd of 1850 guests is an art form.
• Enthusiasm and energy. Where else do people hoot and holler and cheer the trip director and staff just because they walked on stage and said good morning or good evening? The positive vibes from all aboard are so strong that a girl used to the cynicism and apathy of life in the ‘burbs of Pennsylvania could easily get overwhelmed initially.
• A safe space. From pre-sail to disembarkation you inhabit a safe, accepting, and diverse space that is hard to find anywhere. Think of the best women’s festival you’ve ever attended and then double it.
• Variety. I thought I’d be bored on a cruise or that I wouldn’t enjoy it because I am not an outgoing partying type or social butterfly. The variety of activities and opportunities to participate in or just get away from it all in a quiet corner made it possible to do your own thing at any time of the day or night. And, with the exception of a few of the “special parties” on the deck or lounge, the place never seemed overcrowded.

Now a lot of people I know shake their heads and say that they could vacation cheaper doing it on their own. Maybe, but in this case you truly get what you pay for — unsurpassed excellence and an experience you just can’t find elsewhere. I will definitely do it again — the only question is should I cruise? go to a resort? take an active vacation? Hmmmm, so many choices!

I don’t get any perks or benefits from recommending them, I just feel strongly about my positive experience. So, check out their website at Olivia.com and if you’re so inspired as to book a vacation, tell them I sent you!