Often times when I meet with potential clients, they haven’t ever worked with a coach before. They wonder what it is like to be a client. Besides answering their most important question — “what are the benefits to me?” they often want to know how it works & what it’ll be like.

Since I currently have two different coaches and have been coached by several others in the past few years, I thought I’d share a little “day in the life of a client” post; although it is really more like a continuum than a “day”.

Currently, I am working with my mentor coach on business building and with a food/energy coach/consultant on some of my digestive/food/health/weight/energy goals. In the past I have run the gamut working with coaches on career transition, relationship, and spirituality. And, to be totally honest since my entire life is linked by the common element known as ME, the coaching tends to span multiple areas of my life regardless of the specific goal I hired the coach for. What I mean by that is it is not uncommon to hire a coach for business building and find yourself working on your beliefs about yourself, skills, and finances. There is a concept in coaching known as your personal foundation. It is akin to the foundation of a building — the thing upon which everything else is built. What that means is my life is built upon the person that is me. And, I am creating all sorts of things in my life by what I believe, how I relate to myself on the inside, and the actions I take.

For example, I want to improve my energy levels and health as a result of working with my food & energy coach Heather Dominick. And, while we’re early in our journey through this together, it is quite clear and entirely possible that the results I desire might have more to do with my beliefs and emotions than the actual food I eat. While I desire results and want to make changes, I often feel a great deal of resistance. As a client I have been going through periods of difficult emotions, feelings of resistance, frustration, and skepticism. It is OK to feel all those things provided I keep moving through them and working with my coach to make forward progress. I’m at the very popular spot (for me) of wanting something to be different yet not wanting to change anything. As the saying goes: insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.

On the flip side, sometimes being a client is uber-inspiring, energy-infusing, and aha-filled. It seems like new awareness comes at a rapid rate, I make changes in beliefs and actions, and LIKE MAGIC positive results flow. Little synchronistic events conspire to give me even more than I wanted. I love it when that happens.

And then…like most things that ebb and flow….

I find myself hitting a plateau or obstacle. And, it is back to the drawing board with my coach: re-evaluating, going a little deeper, getting clearer on my vision, and shifting my beliefs and actions once again.

You might be thinking — what about the benefits? What about results? Isn’t this supposed to be fun?

The answer is absolutely! You better be getting benefit and results from the coach you’re working with over time (it is a process, after all) or perhaps you’re not working with the right coach for you. Fun? Sometimes it is fun and light and exciting, especially when you’re in a period of realizing a lot of benefits and results. Sometimes it is not oodles of fun (though it should never be a chore) but more of an exploration (which can be fun if you let it) that helps you uncover and rediscover parts of yourself that hold the key to having the life and business you’ve dreamed of.

Have you ever worked with a coach? Are you a coach yourself? What else might you add to my description of life as a client? Please share your comments below…

As I mentioned before, last Saturday I had the privilege of participating in the Successful Women in Business panel sponsored by the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce as part of the Equality Forum. My thanks go out to Kate Karasmeighan who arranged and moderated the event.

A small but mighty group gathered for 90 minutes to share their own personal and professional experiences on the topics of sexism and homophobia in the workplace. What most surprised me was the unanimous sentiments of the panel that the biggest challenges in the workplace are not because we are lesbian but rather because we are women. I can say that even though I’ve been out in corporate america for ages, I’ve had greater challenges with managers and co-workers because I am a woman (and an outspoken one at that) than because of being a lesbian. I’ve found that even though I am out and they know I am in a long term relationship, I often am still categorized as one of those “single women without children and family”. Somehow they didn’t “get it” that I have a life, a family, and a house that demands my attention.

We also talked a bit about the process of coming out in the workplace. The bottom line is that you need to have a support structure in place and need to pick your battles when it comes to determining how much or how little to disclose about your personal life. While you don’t want to appear aloof, mysterious, and an odd duck who has no life or personality, you also don’t want to divulge too much information which is truly no ones business.

While turnout was a little smaller than ideal I believe it made for a very intimate and highly participative event. If any of the powers that be at Equality Forum are listening, I would ask that they don’t set the schedule so similar topics compete with one another at the same time slot. Surely there is more than enough wisdom from successful women in business in our community to complement each other in the programming rather than compete for the same time slot.

News Flash: You can’t Do it All! Or, at least, not all alone. To succeed on your own terms requires consciously building a support system around you. It really does take a village to build a business. At least if you’re going to do it AND still have a life AND avoid burnout.

My coaching colleague Barb Elgin talks about this in her recent blog post “Delegating has helped my business grow”. She starts off by talking about the benefits to be realized by hiring independent contractors (IC’s).

“Inviting IC’s to work with me is definitely ‘burnout prevention’ or deposits into my life’s ‘bank account’! IC’s are freeing me to focus on critcal parts of my business; areas I’m not only truly excited about and interested in tackling (strategic planning, coaching, speaking, writing, building important business collaborations and networks, etc. etc.), but also areas that must be ‘tended’ to, if my business is to survive and grow. “

Anyone who can do simple math can realize that it makes more sense to hire someone at a fraction of your billable rate to do administrative tasks while you market your business to obtain new clients or serve the clients you have. And, it doesn’t have to be wildly expensive either as many virtual assistants will work with you to provide you just the right amount of service you need even if it is not a huge amount of hours.

Barb goes on to touch on another subject very near and dear to my heart — maximizing your health and energy.

“Balancing sitting in this chair all day and talking on the phone with enough physical movement to ward off increasing poundage when you so love what you do and there is SO much to do - is a challenge. Eating foods that are nutrient rich can be done on a busy schedule, if we know how. All of us need a system for health enhancement that works with our busy lives, so that we can enjoy high quality living along with running our amazing businesses!”

Bottom line is that YOU are critical to your business and your life. If you don’t have your health or the energy to both tackle business tasks AND enjoy your passions and relationships, you aren’t successful regardless of how large your bottom line is. In all my years of reading and working with people I have never met a soul who would trade their health for money. Yet, in many ways by the virtue of our daily choices (which build into weekly, monthly, yearly choices) that is exactly what we are doing.

If you want to learn more about the Top 10 Ways to Reduce Stress and Reclaim Time and Energy, download my free report and check out my eCourse “Nip Burnout in the Bud” which speaks directly to this topic.

When an athlete hits the wall, they simply cannot go any more. The body says, “Sorry, I know you’re psyched to push forward, but we are CLOSED.” When an athlete bonks they suffer from low blood sugar and basically hit the wall or even pass out (or worse). In business, you can experience the same sort of dead-zone where your mind, body, and spirit just says ENOUGH! It may be chronic (an ongoing day to day of numbness) or acute (no matter what you do you’re too exhausted to do anything at all and end up staring at your PC or wall). We’ve all had at least one day like this, so what can you do when it happens to you?

It’s a beautiful spring afternoon in Pennsylvania today and I can barely will myself to read the words on the screen. I’ve had this kind of day. After a brisk bike ride at lunch, I’ve essentially been rendered useless. Hit the wall, if you will. Whether it is spring fever or the toll of an extra busy & stressful week I am not sure. What I DO know now is that when I experience this sort of energy and motivation plummet, I need to listen. I need to drop whatever I am doing and do what my body and spirit is most yearning for. For today that means going home and just chilling out with my sweetie, a great meal and a cold martini and resting up for my trek to Philadelphia tomorrow to participate in the Equality Forum panel. It also means simplifying the rest of the weekend’s activities so I’m not running hither and yon or trying to accomplish business tasks, household projects, and recreational activities all at the same time.

The good news is that I haven’t had an afternoon like this in a long time so it means I am doing a decent job of managing my energy and activities, choosing those that feed me over the ones that drain me as much as possible. However, as an expert on burnout, I know it is important to heed the message when my body whispers to me (like this afternoon) rather than ignore it. Because if I ignore it, it will speak louder until it decides to hit the wall and say “no more” by getting a cold, injury, or worse.

6 sure signs that you’re brain fried and burned out:

1. Driven to distraction and unable to concentrate
2. So tired you can barely keep your eyes open
3. Everything you try to do feels like a monumental chore
4. Overwhelm is mounting by the minute
5. Your mind keeps drawing a blank
6. Energy and inspiration is nonexistant

Do you notice when you’re headed toward hitting the wall? Are you even aware of it when you do hit the wall or do you just push yourself harder? Do you find yourself fried in the afternoons? If so, close your eyes, take a breath, and ask your body, “What do I most need right now?” Chances are there is a need in there somewhere just begging to be satisfied. Give yourself permission to satisfy it.

I can’t tell you how excited I was to finally find a blog out there that deals with the topic of finances from a lesbian point of view. Finances are one key part of everyone’s life (remember the life wheel?) and basically “Money Makes the World Go ‘Round” in many ways.

Queercents is a blog written by Dawn, Caitlin, and Nina. Their tagline “We’re here, we’re queer, and we’re not going shopping without coupons” is catchy and a great lead in to their articles on finances, frugality, and how it all relates to us as lesbians. Because we can’t marry our partners the financial maze is even more complex and fraught with gotcha’s than our straight counterparts. That’s just ripe for added stress, especially in our relationships (where money is always a hotbed of power, emotion, and potential conflict).

These ladies have a very accessible and personal writing style. And hurrah to a bunch of folks willing to come out from behind that pseudonym mask to talk about the real issues! I, for one, can’t wait to read more of what they have to say as it has quickly become one of my favorite blogs to read.