It’s no secret from my previous posts, I love the blog Queercents. I thought it would be great to interview two of the founders and contributors here, Nina Smith and Dawn.

Happy reading….and I encourage you to subscribe to the Queercents conversation.

What was your inspiration to start Queercents?
Nina: I had been blogging for about a year with Sitting Pretty and was looking for a way to reach out more specifically to the LGBT community. The traditional queer finance sites such as GFN.com and the money channel at PlanetOut and other sites were missing the more “personal” blogging format.

Dawn: I saw it as an opportunity to gives the glbt community something that was personally theirs. A comfort zone if you will.

How did you first get interested in finances?
Nina: I wanted a plan to get out of the rat race. I was always striving for a pay raise, a year-end bonus or wishing that my commission accelerator kicked in by the second quarter. But no matter how much money I made in my job, it never seemed to be “enough” money. I read the book “Rich Dad Poor Dad” and it changed my perspective on money. It taught me to buy assets with my disposable income. I put an end to the $3,000 vacations (liability), no more $600/month car-lease payment (liability), and I got a lot more conservative with the affordable luxuries (saying no to the $3 lattes… liability). Instead, I saved my money and started buying assets. Specifically, houses.

Dawn: Ever since I learned to count with money and realizing more more got me more things, it has been been a sword fight of medieval proportions to both have what you “need” and save money as well.

How did the collaboration between the 3 of you (Nina, Dawn, Caitlin) come about?
Nina: We found each other online. The personal finance blogosphere is actually a fairly small group. We were avid readers of each other’s blog and the gaydar kicked in. I finally just asked if they wanted to collaborate on a queer specific site and they both thought it was a good idea. Funny thing is, we have never met in person. That’s the power of the Internet.

Dawn: Nina put out the Gay signal in the sky that she had a few ideas and was looking for other people and I jumped at the chance to include that area of my life in a site. And I like reading Nina’s site, so I figured she was a decent person. I wasn’t disappointed.

What is your long-term vision for Queercents - what do you most want to have happen as the impact of your work?
Nina: I’m not sure how this effort will play out, but I’m hoping that Queercents will be the springboard to my next career. My desire is to be able to write full time on the topic of finances. Additionally, I believe that Queercents inspires people… especially those that need a little encouragement with their money skills. It makes me feel good that we’re helping people.

Dawn: I just want it to be around for a long time, providing tips, experience and a place for people to voice they opions on financial matters. Personally, I don’t have any ambitions beyond wanting the site to do well. I’m still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up.

What is the #1 piece of advice you would give any woman wanting to be financially successful?
Nina: Learn to be self-sufficient and live within your means.
Dawn: Find an attitude of happiness beyond the money. So that no matter if you have a million or zero, you have confidence in yourself and place in life. To me that is a financial success.

Finances can be overwhelming. What’s a simple way for a woman to get started cleaning up debt, etc?
Nina: Stick to a budget; pay off your debt and make owning a home your #1 goal.

Dawn: First, sit down and figure out how much you owe and what your minimum payments are
Second, Find places to cut back on monthly expenses (cable, phone, subscriptions, habits)
Third, sell items that are cluttering your space to help pay down the debt
Fourth, Go to the library and check out books for inspiration or since you are reading this, continue searching online. There are no easy fixes, it took a while to pile up the debt and it will take a while to get rid of it.

You have a series on Money & Mates. Based on your experience, what are a few simple ways a couple can all participate in managing finances?
Nina: I wrote a post about this recently called Team Effort about how to get both people of a partnership interested and involved in the finances. According to the experts quoted in the post, they say, “It’s vital that both parties participate, even if one doesn’t feel qualified, entitled, or interested. People in a relationship may have very different long-term goals, and even if the goals are aligned, they may have very different ideas about how to get there. Failure to include both viewpoints can lead to big problems in a relationship as well as a bad financial plan.” Bottom line, couples need to talk about money matters.

Dawn: Communication, even if you have seperate accounts, talk about where all the money is going so their are no secrets
Always, Always discuss the big buys with your partner, If you don’t know if something should be discussed with them or not, then you propably should.

What brings you the most joy personally or professionally?
Nina: On a personally level, sharing my life with my partner, Jeanine brings inspiration and companionship to my day-to-day. I consider my life work to be writing and this brings me an immense amount of joy. My real work is selling software and this provides me with a good living. No complaints there. The combination offers a nice balance for me professionally.

Dawn: I find so much Joy and providing my experience to others and also getting others experiences so that I can learn as well.

Nina Smith is the co-founder of Queercents, a personal finance blog that offers a distinctly queer perspective on money for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community. Nina shares her views on how to achieve financial independence through saving and investing. Nina, a seasoned real estate investor, has been featured on Logo from MTV Networks and is a contributing personal finance writer for the Blade, a regional LGBT magazine. Nina resides in Newport Beach, CA and may be reached at nina@queercents.com.

Dawn is a Co-founder of Queercents a financial blog for the GLBT community, where Dawn shares her personal experiences with frugal living, debt and opinons on the world of money. Dawn’s day job is working in the telecommunications industry because she loves living in a cubicle. When she isn’t working she goes to movies with her partner and plays on the computer. Dawn resides in Englewood, CO and can be reached at Dawn@queercents.com

Queercents… we’re here, we’re queer, and we’re not going shopping without coupons.

Another great carnival is up today over at Lil’ Duck Duck. Given my current flooding conditions, my home office is only fit for a duck. How coincidental. Although I must say, watching the news all around me, despite how upset I am about my flooding and the money I will have to spend to rectify the situation, it sure beats the raging flooding rivers nearby where entire houses are being submerged. Call me crazy, but surely this insane weather we keep having has to be linked in some way, shape, or form to the way we are abusing the environment and global warming in general. I’m no environmentalist, and I didn’t sleep in a Holiday Inn, but….

Looks like there are a number of great posts and this week’s host did a good job of fitting in her duck theme introducing all the posts.

Happy reading….

After a weekend of drenching rains in the Mid-Atlantic which have proceeded to flood the main floor of my house, I thought I’d use my periodic bouts of reacting (versus calm responding) to
add a humorous yet helpful post to the blog. For background - in 2003, the whole first floor flooded (we have no basement) and we ripped out everything, replaced all the carpets, and had a contractor “fix” the outside problem. Well, 3 years later, it is deja vu.

Here are my top 10 ways not to handle such a frustrating, stressful, inconvenient, and ultimately expensive unwanted act of nature. (Keep in mind that while I may have had a few moments where I lost my calm, I haven’t lost my mind completely and started actually doing all these “how-not-to” things. Although, I will admit to doing a lot of #1.)

1. Scream, yell, and curse so much that you start inventing new profanity.
2. Make your relationship an emotional litter box and take it all out on her because it is convenient.
3. Break and damage other items in the house because it is a convenient target for your anger and frustration.
4. Kick the dog/cat/parrot/rabbit or other furry friend.
5. Make the nearest wall a punching bag (walls are hard, knuckles are fragile and it does no good for the wall, the knuckles, or the problem at hand).
6. Make far-reaching, expensive decisions while in the throes of emotion and upheaval.
7. Get so pissed off that you engage in other dangerous behavior you might regret (like reckless driving, drinking too much, etc.).

While I certainly have no real answer as to why these “life-happens” things actually happen, I think the bottom line is to just keep trudging forward even when conditions are less than ideal. In the grand scheme of things, resolution will happen at some point since all things tend toward a state of balance. It’s maintaining calm and perspective in the middle of it all that is the biggest challenge.

• What are some real ways you’ve successfully navigating some of life’s challenging moments?
• What are some humorous ways that weren’t so successful in navigating these moments?

I’d love to read some of your experiences in the comments….

Last night I had the huge pleasure of attending a book signing and reading for Alison Bechdel’s book Fun Home. For those of you unfamiliar with her work, Alison is the author of the superb comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For . The comic strip has been a favorite of mine for years and it beautifully chronicles the personal and political trials and tribulations of a core group of lesbians. It is funny; it is poignant, and frighteningly true to life (especially the political details). Fun Home is her first venture into the autobiographical graphic novel genre and it has been getting rave reviews from not only the gay press but also the big league of reviewers (New York Times Book Review, Entertainment Weekly, Time Magazine to name a few).

The event was held at the Free Library of Philadelphia as part of their author series. I’d never been to the library and it is an old, beautiful, and cavernous building near the art museum. What I liked most about the crowd that attended was the wide diversity of people which just proves that quality writing and art can be equally compelling to women and men across a wide demographic spectrum. (I just looked at that last phrase “wide demographic spectrum” and realized that an evening of listening to Alison’s well crafted story with impressive vocabulary has just trickled into my stream of consciousness.)

The jam packed hour was filled with Alison reading from her book while displaying a slide show of the corresponding graphic frames. In between the two chapters she read, she took time to give us a peek behind the scenes and into her creative process for drawing. It is more than clear that she is a serious artist who works her ass off conceptualizing, researching, designing, and actually drawing the frames. I couldn’t recount all the steps if you put a gun to my head. As a writer, I certainly understand my creative process and the sometimes painstaking process of editing and getting the message “just so”. However, since my drawing abilities are limited to stick people (and pretty ugly stick people at that) and tracing Garfield and Ziggy cartoons as a kid, it always blows me away to learn about the different methods artists adopt to create their signature work. Alison commented last night that she doesn’t consider herself a natural artist. She just works very hard at drawing. Well, I don’t know what you’d define “natural” as, but she most certainly is authentic, original, and produces top notch drawings that convey many layers of a message simultaneously. After listening and watching Alison last night describe just one frame from her new novel, I had the same reaction as when I first watched a fine winemaker walk me through the process of his hand crafted wines and champagnes — “my god this stuff should sell for $100 each at a minimum for all that talent and effort!”.

(You can catch a snippet of one stage of the creative process via video on her blog here ) .

The evening wrapped up with a nice stretch of Q&A from the audience. I just love when intelligent women fill a room and get free reign with a Q&A. The questions were thought-provoking and compelling. As a whole the audience expressed a lot of gratitude and reverence while cheering on the success of one of our own. What I love most about the recent mainstream media attention to Fun Home is that it is not a prefabricated “gay news event” but a literary story about a substantive graphic novel by an author who happens to be a lesbian and whose autobiography explores the gay themes inherent in her family (her father was also gay).

To me the lessons I took away from getting to see Alison in person as well as my years of reading her work are:

• Be authentic
• Follow your creative muse because you must
• Speak your truth because silence really does equal death
• Trust in the process, methods, and mediums that work for you

I haven’t gotten to read the book yet (after all I just bought it last night so she could sign it), but intend to sink my teeth into it starting this weekend. I’ll share what pops up for me after I finish it. I also hope to publish a photo from last night here, but first want to get permission from her…so stay tuned.

You can check out her upcoming tour dates here. If you can’t make it to a signing, or you missed her visit to a city near you, she has chronicled her tour thus far on her blog in a down to earth, authentic, behind-the-scenes way.

And, by all means…buy the book and experience it for yourself!

Last weekend I had the joy of attending a member retreat at my favorite spiritual playground Columcille. This place of monoliths, myth, mystery, and general spiritual journeying has been a most special place to me for almost 10 years now. In fact, my partner and I had our commitment ceremony there and have since considered the people we know there an extended family and the land itself home . No matter what is going on in the world or in our lives, we can count on a safe, grounded space with the stones, the land, and the people. I believe everyone needs such a space in their life (in whatever form it might take) to truly thrive and grow deeper.

A little background for you…. As a nonprofit organization and preserved site under conservancy, there exists a board of directors and an extended membership that manages the affairs of the place, maintains the land, and organizes several events throughout the year. The park itself is open to the public year-round from dawn until dusk each day. If you’re ever near the Pocono’s in Pennsylvania I highly recommend paying a visit to discover it for yourself.

Part of the member retreat included a day-long exercise in meditating on and envisioning the future of Columcille. We each spent time on the land alone in silence, walking and meditating. Our charge was to capture whatever ideas we had about what Columcille would be like 20 years from now. All ideas were fair game no matter how wild or outrageous. Later in the day, we came together in small groups to share our visions. From that sharing, each group had to develop a theatrical skit to present their vision to the larger group later that evening as part of “myth and mystery theater”.

I must say this was one of the most interesting, creative, and inspiring exercises I’ve participated in. I was absolutely floored to see what each group created out of thin air in such a short space of time. Not to mention, the diversity of the people involved runs the gamut. It never ceases to amaze me just how different in shapes, sizes, life pursuits, and philosophies this group can be. Yet at the core of the matter, the heart and soul of this collective stands firm and unified in their love of the land and this spiritual space.

By the end of the night each group capitalized on this diversity and presented visions of a future in 2026 that made us all laugh hysterically, dab away tears of deep emotion, and explore our own deep visions for who we want to be as individuals 20 years hence. A most moving evening that demonstrated how “play” can be fruitful and yield tangible results.

What’s the lesson in all of this? I believe there are 7 key elements that came together to foster the magic and innovation.

Trust
Each individual trusted in their personal message from the morning meditations. Whether their seemed “good” (under our own self-critical lens) or not, people trusted in the spirit and themselves and had the courage to share it with the larger group. As a group we each inherently trusted each other with our ideas and our vulnerabilities.

Common Vision
While the board and group sometimes has lively discussions on points of contention (as any diverse group might), at the end of the day everyone shares a common vision of wanting to preserve the land and the essence of the place. We believe in it because we each, in our own way, have been moved by our experience at Columcille and have been called to contribute our gifts to it. The strength of a common vision whether that is for our personal or business life can’t be underestimated.

Respect
A healthy respect for each other as individuals and for the land itself roots us and allows us all to show up in our full uniqueness. Whether at play or in the midst of a lively discussion, people respect each other first as people. It keeps personality conflicts and clashes to a minimum (hell, no one is perfect, and passionate people sometimes step on each other’s toes!).

Safety
The trust and respect that exists creates a safe space in which people can take risks and stretch themselves without fear. People know they will be heard and supported when they express themselves and go out on a limb. Without the support of this safe space, innovation could not manifest itself.

Acceptance
It is OK to be totally who you are in this group. The land does not pass judgment and nor do the people that commit themselves to being involved as a member. Knowing that you can be just who you are allows you to show up fully and authentically. Without the burden of “watching your back”, “people pleasing”, or “trying to be something you’re not” allows your energy to soar and the creative juices to flow.

Space to Play
From day one, Columcille founder Bill Cohea has fostered a space where play and exploration is allowed. Life is too short to be terminally serious. Within this space your spirit can open up and feel like a little kid at play. Whether it is walking the wooded trails or having a conversation with the stones, you can have lightness about you and feel right at home doing so. When your spirit has space to play, decisions become clearer, your vision becomes focused, creativity thrives, and you get a shot of energy that wards off burnout and fuels your endeavors.

Joy
Everyone attended because they truly wanted to be there. They didn’t “have to”; it didn’t feel like “work”. When you’re engaged in an activity you enjoy in an environment that nurtures you, it is easy to get in the flow and get in touch with the joy of living and just being. Whenever you can be fully present in the now you can tap into the wonder of what it means to be alive. That brings joy. When you have joy in your heart the possibilities become endless and you enjoy the journey and the destination (if there really ever IS one…).

The greatest thing about these 7 elements is that you can apply it to any business or personal project. Even if your project doesn’t require a team of people, you can apply the concepts to your relationship to yourself and yield results.