In September, Adventure Out Women launched its online presence aimed at providing a networking portal for the professional woman who surrounds herself with pride 365 days a year. Behind the scenes of this new portal are two women, Dawn Dudgeon and Belinda Ramirez who saw a need for a space where likeminded professional women can connect.

I have the distinct honor of being a contributor to their portal and I recently asked Belinda and Dawn to share a bit about the site and themselves.

What has been your biggest challenge being out in your business
life/career?

I can honestly say that looking back; I believe there were times when my patience was challenged. I have never been the kind of person to hide things or lie about who I am. What you see is what you get, the good, bad and the ugly. I have been out since I was very young. I never made excuses about who I am or tried to justify my actions. You are who you are, period. Life is not that complicated, people sometimes can make things much more difficult than they have to be. Not intentionally but we are all human and have good and bad days.

What is your long-term vision for Adventureoutwomen - what do you
most want to have happen as the impact of your work?

I believe that we have developed a very unique vehicle of communication for women to share information and provide professional services, but that is just a very small part of what AOW is. Anyone who knows Dawn and I would agree that being healthy inside and out is very important to us. We believe that your mind and body are a big part of who you are. Taking care of it and carefully feeding it can change how you are and what you feel.

To us learning is very important, we are always in some sort of class or seminar and thrive on learning new things and meeting new people. In developing this portal, Dawn and I brainstormed and wrote down all things we wanted AOW to stand for. We took a pad and pen and wrote down all the good things we liked about portals we used frequently. We were able to develop a business model that adopted some of Craig’s list and put a spin on it by writing about the things that interest us and our community and by offering other activities and events that would allow women to exercise their minds as well as their bodies.

Our dream and hope is to have Adventure out Women be the Craig’s list for the lesbian community. Craig’s list is a no frills, very functional web site. One can get information without all the banner ads, and annoying marketing ads to distract you.

With AOW you can network by marketing professional services, posting events and joining us on our outdoor group workout activities.

What is the #1 piece of advice you would give any woman wanting to
be successful in business?

Number 1 is being honest, bottom line. Do what you say, and say what you mean. Understand that success is the intersection of hard work and opportunity. Opportunities sometimes present themselves, be sure to be ready to take them and understand that it is up to you to find new avenues for opportunities. Never give up on your dream and when people give you constructive criticism, take it for what it is worth and use it to your benefit. Also understand that in our small and growing community there are many wonderful people out there who will help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and make sure you return the favor. In the end it is all about networking and making mutually beneficial relationships.

Networking and learning the ins and outs of being a professional
woman can be overwhelming. What’s a simple way for a woman to get
started connecting with other successful women?

This is right up our alley! Well first of all surround yourself with others who you aspire to be like. Dawn and I have some friends we admire who are respected in our community. They started a gay yellow pages in Sacramento called Valley Rainbow Page 9 years ago and are very successful, honest and hard working men. For us we do not limit our circle to professional lesbian women.

AOW is all about networking and sharing information of interest with the lesbian community. But we do work with some professional men who target our audience and have some very good advice and services to offer. We often ask them for their opinion.

What brings you the most joy personally or professionally?

I can honestly say that success brings me the most joy both personally and professionally. For me the meaning of success is not being famous or having a lot of money, neither of those applies to me. Success to me is being content with your life. I can say that I am very satisfied with who I am today. With the circle of friends I surround myself with, with the things I have and most importantly with my relationship with Dawn.

Be sure to check out Adventure Out Women as it grows as new content is added regularly. If you want to reach Dawn or Belinda you can email them at dawn@adventureoutwomen.com and belinda@adventureoutwomen.com respectively.

In July 3rd edition of Time Magazine, an article entitled “You Gotta Have Friends” explores the fact that Americans are more socially isolated today than we were two decades ago. Quite frankly if human connection and a feeling of community is so vital to living a productive and fulfilling life, it sounds like we are not making the grade when it comes to relationships. Why is that?

If I look back two decades, that puts me in the mid-1980’s and in the midst of my high school years. Now, maybe it is because I was a teenager living in a small town, but everyone knew everyone (perhaps TOO much, but that’s a different story). Telephone answering machines were just starting to come into usage and the whole Internet, cell phone, electronic age was just being developed. So, in order to get anything done you had to physically see and actually talk with people. No e-mail, no IM, no text messaging substitutes for real connection.

Why is real connection so important? Well, in many ways it is well-documented. Here’s just a few benefits:

• People live longer (both those healthy and those battling an illness
• Kids thrive
• Generosity expands (if we have a personal connection we tend to give more of ourselves)
• Crime decreases (people are out, about, alert, and aware of what’s going on around them)
• People experience more success in their professional and personal lives (think networking)

What can you do?

Well, I won’t dismiss the value of connections made online. There are some people I have only met online and talked with via telephone that have become very important to me. They have enriched my life and made building my business more fruitful and enjoyable. Yet, there is nothing quite like connecting with someone in person. And, you don’t need to take a ton of time from your busy schedule to reap the benefits of connection. Consider doing just one of these suggestions a few times a month and you’ll notice a big improvement in how you feel and quite possibly a smile on your face.

• Visit with a neighbor in person
• Schedule a date with a long lost pal
• Have a picnic with a loved one
• Play a game with a friend (there’s a reason all those folks who play cards weekly laugh & smile)
• Go for a long walk with a friend or visit a park
• Have a real, live in-depth conversation with someone you love

It may not be rocket science, but making time for little connections like these can turbo boost your mood, health, happiness, and productivity.

If you’ve been reading along, you know that I recently vacationed in the Canadian Rockies spending time playing in Banff and Jasper National Parks. It was a fabulous time and only reinforces my belief in the value of getting away from the grind, disconnecting, and truly taking a vacation in every sense of the word. It is not only an amazingly enriching and fulfilling thing to do but I know I have come back with extra juice, energy, and inspiration to throw at my dreams and goals.

While we’ve taken many really awesome trips, what was different about this one was our approach and intentions. In the past we’d either have ourselves planned to within an inch of our sanity or have a long list of “must-see’s” that filled our minds. We would find ourselves constantly looking at the clock and planning our next move, not always enjoying what we actually were doing at that moment. This time we had a general sense of things we wanted to do and then just made it up as we went along. Every day we came up with a plan for the day and then let it go. If it changed, that was ok. If the weather didn’t cooperate, we had a Plan B. If we changed our minds or weren’t in the mood, we’d do something different. And when all was said and done, we not only did a lot of really amazing things (like paddle 28 km round trip on Maligne Lake, the second largest glacial lake in the world) but truly immersed ourselves in whatever we were doing in the moment.

This approach we had to our trip can hold clues to experiencing more fulfillment and success in every day life too. The keys?

Set a Clear Intention

Be clear about what you really want. In our case we wanted an enjoyable, inspiring, and truly satisfying experience in this beautiful location filled with natural gems. We knew we wanted to be active yet not be ready to fall over at the end of the day. We also knew we wanted to do a variety of activities and I wanted to have some focused time with my photography. Get clear on what you want from each day as well as from the big picture long term.

Plan

Yes I am someone who likes to plan. Sometimes I get more anal about the details than other times. Like it or not, though, no matter what you want to do some degree of planning is involved. As the saying goes, “A failure to plan is a plan to fail.” A plan doesn’t have to be elaborate — one day we just woke up and said, let’s rent bikes and at some point in the day end up at the Banff Springs Hotel. That wasn’t exactly project planning 101, but it worked. We put on the right clothes, packed some stuff, rented bikes, and got a map. The rest is, well a humorous tale for another time, but bottom line is we had a lot of fun.

Let Go

This is perhaps the most important and yet most difficult thing to do. Once you get an idea of what you want and clearly take steps to make it happen, then you need to let it go. Let go of the expectation of what it has to be or look like. This was probably the most important new element to our approach. In the past we’d want something & then be married to the weather having to be a certain way, the timing being just so, and everything having to be perfect. This time we just went with the flow. For instance, we set out on our Maligne Lake paddle just to be on the water and see how far we got. The person who rented us the kayaks explained that Spirit Island is 14 km one way from the boat house. Spirit Island is the destination of the scenic cruise boats that many people take each day. We thought…hmmmm.. think we can paddle that far and still get back without being miserable and dead tired? So we headed out with the intention of getting to the island but being totally OK with not making it that far (It was a whole new mindset for us). After all every minute was so mind-numbing beautiful it was like spending a day in paradise. In the end we did get there (and back) but I believe it was being OK with not reaching the destination that made all the difference in our attitudes and enjoyment that day (even with our back and shoulder muscles burning like hell…but it’s a GOOD TIRED!! :-))

Be Open to Change

Sometimes things don’t go as planned: trails get closed, weather changes, and bodies can ache. In spite of the best laid plans, “stuff happens”. On our flights out we were just dying to get there already. Having worked all day and taken an evening flight it was already going to be late (midnight M.S.T) for us since we’re on EST. While catching our connecting flight in Denver, the whole schedule went to pot. Mechanics in the cockpit are never a good sign. After much ado, we did end up flying out but never got to Calgary until about 1:30 am MST (that’s 3:30 am EST and I’m too old for all-nighters). A little cranky, yes, but we were open to whatever transpired and it significantly lowered the “bitch factor” while allowing the “stuff happens” to not get in the way of our having a good time.

Savor the moment

It all comes down to this. Right now, this very moment is all that any of us really ever have. If you’re not in the moment, then you’re not really anywhere at all. You can’t touch the past or reach toward the future, you can only stand solid in the right here, right now. This time rather than spend our days thinking about some artificial schedule or worrying about what’s next, we just enjoyed the moment. Whether it was sucking wind as we hiked up the Plain of 6 Glaciers trail or swirling and savoring the bouquet of a fine wine at The Post Hotel, we were fully present to each other and our experiences. It doesn’t get any richer or better than that.

Whether you’re on the trail, at the beach, hanging with friends, or in the heart of your professional life these keys can make a difference in the level of happiness and fulfillment you experience each day.

Maria Angeline over at Daily Dose of Queer has some exciting news that I wanted to pass along to you. Her long awaited book project called Queer Shorts is now available!

Here’s a little blurb about the book description from MergePress.com:

Love. Loss. Memory. Choice. Friendship. Identity. Gender. Sexuality.

In a new collection of literary shorts, eleven new and experienced writers serve up queer in eleven different ways. Their accounts explore the queer world nearly four decades after Stonewall through unique, deeply personal perspectives.

The writers’ diverse viewpoints take readers on a journey that spans four generations. Their stories explore, among other themes, the way that attraction can change identity and that new love can uncover the memory of a love lost. The pieces cover moments in time across the range of human experience, including the need to separate, wanderlust, and an extramarital affair.

Intense, often meditative, and embroiled in the power of recollection, this anthology explores many slices of queer culture through themes that will universally resonate with readers.

Queer Shorts features work from: Gayle Lloyd, Jeff Mann, William Reichard, Nairne Holtz, Ethereal, Alan Witchey, S.G. Reichen, Monica Dulberg, F.I. Goldhaber, Jen Burke and Sally Bellerose.

You can get 35% off the cover price of Queer Shorts throughout September when you enter the voucher code HUSH before checkout when placing an order at MergePress.com.

I am always excited to see women coming up with ideas, taking full hold of the reigns, and birthing something new. That’s what the creative process and really living your desires is all about. If you’re looking for a good read, head on over to MergePress and pick up a copy…

Hats off to Maria and the contributors!

When the movie Serving in Silence came out in 1995 I was still feeling my way around my own life having been out only a few short years. Yet, when I saw Margarethe “Grethe” Cammermeyer speak at an event in Allentown, PA around that same time I was not only inspired by this woman but got a huge lesson in the dynamics of being out, staying in the closet, and the general illusion this country’s built around what is or isn’t “playing by the rules” and “honorable conduct”. And, I won’t even get started on my opinions on the whole “Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell” nonsense because it just confounds me that as a supposedly intelligent nation that we still have such a policy in the military and even more so how it is conveniently ignored or pulled out of someone’s back pocket to serve the agenda of the day. So much for honor and integrity and the ability to look at government or military as role models! (I am speaking in terms of the general institution here, because there are more than a fair share of truly honorable individuals with high integrity and leadership within those institutions.)

What I have always most admired about Cammermeyer is how she took a very unwanted situation (being outed and discharged from the military she served with all her heart and soul for 27 years) and turned it into a way to share her message with and inspire others while working towards positive change. Leadership and positive change always begins with YOU. One person, one day at a time.

In support of the DVD release, the Windy City Times published this recent interview with Cammermeyer called “Silent No More”. It is an eye-opening interview regarding the current state of affairs with respect to the military, “Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell”, and Cammermeyer’s involvements in the last ten years since the movie premiered.

The DVD is available at Wolfe Video: http://www.wolfevideo.com.