Let’s face it, if you work for a corporation, there is always the dance around whether to come out or not. And, since it is basically legal to fire someone simply for being a lesbian, it is all the more important to make sure the company you decide to work for has policies and benefits that help you get the equal treatment you deserve. The HRC’s annual Corporate Equality Index was just released today and it rates top American businesses on how they are treating gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender employees, consumers and investors. You can learn about the index and read the 2006 Corporate Equality Index in its entirety by downloading it.

Some key points from their press release include:

In all of the policy and benefits areas that were measured, the report reveals double-digit increases in the number of companies adhering to the criteria. Among the companies surveyed in the new report, this year:

• 75 percent more companies than in 2005 prohibited discrimination against transgender employees in employment practices;
• 64 percent more companies than in 2005 implemented at least one wellness benefit for transgender employees;
• 35 percent more companies than in 2005 extended COBRA, vision, dental and dependent medical coverage to employees’ same-sex domestic partners; and
• 14 percent more companies than in 2005 engaged in philanthropic or marketing activities directed toward the GLBT community.

Almost all of the companies rated — 436, or 98 percent — include sexual orientation in their non-discrimination polices.

This indeed is good news for employees and consumers alike. As someone who has been in the corporate halls a decade or so too long, I know firsthand that what is in the policy and how things actually happen aren’t always aligned. BUT, if you have benefits and protections in writing it greatly reduces the chances that you might experience discrimination or difficulties because of your sexual orientation and it gives you a fallback to dispute any violations that might occur. Not to mention it is simply a relief to be able to cover your long term domestic partner for medical and other benefits (even if the IRS remains discriminatory and taxes you to death on the “value” of the benefit).

Here’s to sure progress forward in terms of equality and the ability to be your authentic self on the job. Happy reading….

Are you BORED with your life? Then THROW yourself into some work you BELIEVE in with all your heart, LIVE for it, DIE for it, and you will find HAPPINESS that you had thought could never be YOURS.

- Dale Carnegie

While I have never been a fan of Dale Carnegie (or at least I should say his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” rubbed me the wrong way & I stopped listening from that point on), I loved this quote that showed up in my inbox today. Why?

Well, I’ve found there are 3 possible responses to finding yourself bored…

1. You enjoy the space to just sit back, relax, and refuel for the next phase of your life plan
2. You bitch and whine that you’re bored and act like a robot on a day to day basis
3. You suddenly recognize the feeling you’ve been having is boredom and you use it as a catalyst for positive change.

Let’s look at the first one…

In some cases, bored is a good sign. It means you have eliminated enough extraneous nonsense and stress from your life that you’ve created space and peace of mind to make a fresh start; arriving at bored because you’ve consciously took action to cultivate a space from which to enter a new phase of your life or business. You didn’t just wake up one day surprised that you were bored, rather you have been consciously working to get to a clear space. Boredom can be the gateway to peace.

On to number two…

I don’t see number two as even a viable option (unless of course mediocrity and ignoring your life’s experience is your plan at which case you probably shouldn’t be reading my blog). If you find yourself bored with your existance day after day and choose to stay in whine mode and show up each day on autopilot, you have no one to blame but yourself. In today’s times where you can connect online with people who share any interest you might have (even to the most mundane hobby in the world), learn just about anything online or in informational products, and be anywhere in the free world within a day or so via airplane, you have no excuse to be bored.

And number three…

It may happen as a flash one day or little by little over the course of time. Either way, you find your current career or life as you’ve created it is just not jazzing you. You’re busy, involved, and full of responsibilities, but just plain feeling empty. You wonder where your passion has gone and can’t even remember the last time you were fully engaged in something hook, line, and sinker. In this case, you can use boredom as a signpost. A signpost that reads “Now Would Be a Great Time for a Change! Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal, What are You Waiting For??”. The sign doesn’t say, whirl into work, quit your job, divorce your partner, and go backpacking in Europe (although that may be your decision later on). What it does say is — use this acknowledgment of being bored with your life as a starting point to explore what’s next and design a life you love for this next phase in your journey.

So, while boredom often gets a bad wrap (has anyone here ever heard a parent say — “If you’re bored, I’ll give you something to do!!”), it most certainly has a place in the ebb and flow of our days and can be a great wake up call and catalyst for meaningful change.

I like reading Kathy Sierra’s Creating Passionate Users blog on a regular basis. While she is usually talking from a business and customer experience perspective, I thought her recent post called Why “duh”… isn’t has some serious application to the life and business coaching work I do and thus the content of this blog.

Some of the same “duh” reasons businesses don’t apply common sense principles are the same excuses we use day in and day out for not doing the things we know we need to be doing in other areas of our lives.

Take this excerpt…

This is no different from any other part of our lives, of course. Eating healthy is a “duh.” Exercising five times a week is a “duh.” Saving money is a “duh.” Keeping our kids off TV is a “duh.” Flossing is definitely “duh.” Managing stress is a “duh.” Greeting your significant other and kids with a smile and full attention is a “duh.” Empowering our employees is a “duh.” Changing the oil is a “duh.” Being on time is a “duh.” And I might as well end this paragraph with a totally lame cliche:
There’s a big difference between saying, “Eat an apple a day” and actually eating the apple.

If “duh” is so damn obvious, why aren’t we DOING it? (I say “we” because I’m just as guilty) More importantly, why do we drastically overestimate the extent to which we are doing “duh” things?

When clients say to me “I need to lose weight” or “I want to get out of debt” or “add your own personal ‘duh’ here“….. I then ask them what gets in their way of actually DOING what they say they want? And, from there a whole exploration ensues around a multitude of underlying beliefs, patterns, and obstacles that get in the way. If it were as easy as “just do it” with everything we both knew we should do or wanted to do, we’d all be living our ideal lives every day and fulfilled to the max. So the “I should’ve had a V-8″ moments are all 20/20 in hindsight, but sometimes take actual effort to apply in our lives at the right time (before, not after…).

Where in your life do you need to make the shift from “Eat and Apple” to actually sinking your teeth in and EATING the apple?

Just got back from vacation this weekend (more on that later) and watched the movie Last Holiday with Queen Latifah. It is about a shy, reserved retail clerk who finds out she has 3 weeks to live. On hearing the news she breaks out of her shell and starts doing all kinds of wild and crazy things she always dreamed of doing but never thought she could (she was waiting for that elusive “Someday”). So, she travels to Europe, tries ski boarding, succeeds at base jumping, treats herself to fancy clothes, and realizes her dream of learning to cook beside a top chef. I found this movie runneth over with some very worthwhile life lessons and even one cool coaching tool hidden in it. I wasn’t expecting such an insightful vacation recovery movie viewing experience, but was certainly inspired and juiced up by it.

Lesson 1: Where is Your Book of Possibilities?

In the movie, Georgia (Latifah’s character) has a small book of possibilities in which she has collected all her dreams. She has pictures of hotels she wished to stay at, countries she wanted to visit, and even pictures of a wedding and married couple with her face and that of the guy she likes pasted onto it. She continually added things to the book and would look at it lamenting with a sigh “Someday”. Once she is diagnosed, she pours over the book crying about the things she’ll never get to do. Then, of course she heads out and starts doing them - having a last holiday before her time is up. After all, why not! she figures, this is the final curtain call.

What I find important about this is twofold.

First — do you have your own book of possibilities? Dreams and goals that you keep tucking away for one day in the future? The first step in getting what you want in life is getting clear and knowing what that something is. In Georgia’s case, she clearly knew what she wanted and had the pictures and book to prove it.

Second — She had a powerful, tangible, and visible way to get in touch with her dreams each day. She opened the book and could see it lay out before her. The second important step in getting what you want is being able to see it, touch it, feel it, and get in touch with it on a regular (at least daily) basis. The practice of acting “as if” and stepping into what it will be like when you get what you want strengthens your resolve and gets other, unseen powers in motion to help you manifest what you want in your life.

Of course, as the story goes, she has step one and two, but was lacking a crucial part of getting what she wanted. That is — ACTION. She looked at the book but didn’t BELIEVE she could have what she desired. Without the belief, she took no action to actually make it happen. You can visualize and dream all you want, but if you don’t actually take any action, you’re likely to find yourself in the same spot at the same time next year. Action is the grease that gets the wheels going on the car that will get you where you want to go.

Lesson 2: Boxes are Great for Shoes, But No Place for You to Live.

While away and living the high life, Georgia writes a note detailing her wishes after she passes. In it she says that she wants to be cremated; she doesn’t want to be buried in a box because she lived her whole life in one. That’s a pretty powerful statement. Think about it — why would you want to live your whole life in a box? I can think of a number of reasons women do — fear, lack of self-confidence, other people’s expectations, low self-esteem to name a few. Yet, who benefits when you live your life in a box? Certainly not you; and, not anyone else for that matter since the world at large and those close to you only experience a diminished version of your brilliance and full potential.

The phrase “think outside the box” has been so misused and overused in the business world that it makes me ill. (Nothing like taking a decent metaphor and corrupting it.) But, there is truth in the essence of the statement. What would YOU be doing if you could step outside the little box you have created for yourself in your life (and for some, the boxes are smaller than others)? Would you be traveling more? Spending more time with those you love? Playing in the outdoors more? Living in another part of the country?

Just ponder the possibilities and write a list or journal about what opportunities might wait for you on the other side of a confining box.

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As a side note, the movie is not heavy or depressing. It is in fact quite a celebration of life peppered with the right dose of humor. I won’t give away the ending, but never fear you don’t need a box of Kleenex.

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What do you think about the concept of a book of possibilities? Do you have one? Are you taking action to make these possibilities reality or simply lamenting that you “can’t”?

Do you find yourself living in a box in one or more areas of your life? Are you thriving in there or finding yourself constricted, frustrated, and unfulfilled?

I’d love to hear what you think….share some of your thoughts in the comments below.

I got this quote a few weeks ago and just loved it. I thought it is worth pondering all on its own without me adding my $.02 (at least not right now).

Enjoy…….and remember, don’t blame the lettuce!

When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.
- Thich Nhat Hanh