Successful people take time to reflect and acknowledge accomplishments and plan for the future. If you’re not clear on what you really want you’re likely to get more of what you’ve always gotten. I was happy to see one of my favorite coaches, Cheryl Richardson, on Good Morning America yesterday morning talking about taking a personal inventory.

I wanted to share with you my own personal ritual for bringing the old year to a close and ringing in the new year. I don’t do resolutions (they don’t work…more on that in an upcoming post). Instead I create a vision and intention (backed up by a plan) for what I want to achieve and experience in the coming year. Here’s my ritual that I hope you will incorporate into your New Year’s activities this weekend.

Acknowledge Accomplishments

Make a list of what you accomplished in 2006 and those experiences, activities, or events that were a great success for you. What really worked this past year? What did you accomplishment? What turned out the way you hoped? What memories can you celebrate?

This list builds your self-confidence because you are taking the time to acknowledge yourself for all the amazing things you accomplished. It also allows you to steep yourself in gratitude for what you do have.

Note Your Disappointments

Now make a list of the things that didn’t really work out for you. What were your disappointments or regrets from 2006? Where did you fall short of your goals and desires?

This is not an exercise in beating yourself up or dwelling on the negative. Quite the opposite. It gives you a chance to take a look at what isn’t working for you and what you might have done different so it can inform your choices going forward.

A Vision for 2007

Think ahead to this time next year. When you do this exercise then, what are the things you want to put on your “accomplished” list? What are the memories and experiences you want to have in 2007.

There are several ways to do this exercise. You can make a list of all the different items or you can write a narrative in the present tense as if it is next year and you’re reflecting back on what you have done and who you’ve become. Whichever approach you choose, allow yourself to really feel what it will feel like to have, be, or do these things. Really drink in the feelings and experiences so it anchors it in your body and soul.

My partner and I along with two friends create a list each New Year’s Day of what we most want to accomplish in the coming year. Then, we fold up the paper, and seal it in an envelope and wait until the next New Year’s Day to open it. The power of intention and writing something down can be mind-blowing.

Create a Plan

Don’t let this work-intensive sounding word — “plan” trip you up. It is a holiday after all. However, successful people don’t let life happen to them by chance, they create a plan. So, take a look at your vision for 2007 and create a list of the things you need to do in 2007 to make them a reality. For now, keep it simple. Make notes of the types of support you’ll need in order to reach your goal and some of the actions and behaviors you’ll have to put into practice to get where you want to go. Perhaps you need to join a group, hire a coach, or get more sleep. Maybe you need to block off time every day or week to work on your goals.

Build on Your Successes and Forge New Paths

A combination of building on your past successes and forging some new paths is the best way to keep momentum going in 2007. So, as you create your plan take some successes from this year that you want to build upon (example: in 2006 I got out of debt, in 2007 I am going to create a savings/investment plan) as well as creating some entirely new goals (example: time for a career change).

I hope you find this little New Year’s ritual helpful and I wish you a superb start to 2007!

Everyone has their favorite gift recommendations, and it’s time for me to share my favorites with you, the successful lesbian business owner and professional. I’m all about doing the self-growth work necessary to achieve your dreams, but I also know the value of fun and R&R. As a result, my list is a mix of both those items that will help propel you forward to greater success in 2007 and those that will make fun a part of your regular vocabulary.

Enjoy!

1) Something from Wolfe Video

These ladies started this company before LGBT became an economic purchasing power that was recognized by the world at large. And, they continue to bring us the best of LGBT movies and entertainment at competitive prices. I know I wouldn’t buy my DVD’s anywhere else. You know you need some R&R time to either crash on the couch or snuggle with a sweetie. Give yourself the gift of something great to watch while you’re doing it and hop over to Wolfe Video

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Doesn’t the holidays season feel a little like a giant struggle to put 10 pounds of poop into a 5 pound bag? I mean, our schedules are busy enough under normal circumstances. Then, all of a sudden, we expect to do the impossible and fit in a whole host of holiday preparations, activities, and events into our already booked schedules. It can be a recipe for crazy making and making a huge stinky mess.

Regardless of what holiday you celebrate and whether you do so with your family, friends, or some combination of the two, it is a busy time. How have you set yourself up to have the kind of holiday you most desire? Have you cleared space in your life for the experience to unfold or are you trying to force miracles through small spaces?

So many times I have been guilty of eliminating nothing from my schedule and then attempting to decorate, shop, wrap, bake, visit, and travel all while juggling the rest of my life. At the risk of sounding biblical, I’d have more luck getting a camel through the eye of a needle. I can still recall the year Kim & I baked over 1200 cookies and were still stirring fudge while glaring at the candy thermometer on Christmas Eve just hours before we needed to hit the road. Insanity! And, we didn’t really enjoy the experience because we treated ourselves like slaves on an assembly line — “chocolate chips…STAT!” and “hurry up with rolling those friggin cookie balls you slacker!”.

Fortunately, we’ve either gotten wiser or simply worn out and we don’t even attempt to accomplish the impossible anymore. Sure, we do a number of holiday things and have a pretty packed schedule of visiting and travel, but there is space to breathe and we don’t even hesitate to simply say no to and eliminate the activities we don’t really want to do.

How about you?

• Have you created the necessary space in your schedule to do the activites you want to do this holiday?
• Are you saying “No, thank you.” to activities and invitations that don’t bring you pleasure?
• Did you leave some “me time” just for you to relax and reflect on what you’re grateful for and what you most want from the year ahead?
• Have you eliminated the “shoulds” from your list so you’re enjoying the holiday in your way and not according to someone else’s expectations?

If you can’t say a resounding YES to all these questions, take some time this week to see how you might re-prioritize and take a new perspective on your holiday plans so you can create the holiday you most desire.

As someone who has loved music since before birth (that’s another story according to my Mom) and has been a guitarist for many moons, I’m a discriminating listener. An artist has to truly hit me in the right spot and Tret Fure is one of those artists. When she comes to town, it’s not a matter of “if” we can go to the show, it’s a matter of “who’s calling to get the tickets”.

I first discovered Tret’s music in the early 1990’s during my own personal process of coming out. At the time she was writing and performing with Cris Williamson and the music created a key part of our personal coming out soundtrack. By the time we discovered her music she had already been a prolific writer, performer, and music engineer for many years. As a fan and musician I have particularly enjoyed watching her music and on stage presence evolve during this time.

After a recent concert at Godfrey Daniels, Tret was gracious enough to do this interview. I hope you enjoy her heartfelt and thoughtful responses. Read the rest of this entry »

Last night the topic of procrastination came up in a conversation I was having with a client. Her thoughts being “if I could only overcome procrastination, then I’d be all set”. My question to her was - “is that really true?” We often think that procrastination is a horrible habit that keeps us from getting what we want. And, it is true that if we procrastinate and don’t take any action, the likelihood of reaching our goals is slim. However, the key to getting where you want to go is looking underneath the procrastination. That is, what is fueling the procrastination and what payoff are you getting by indulging in procrastination?

As I see it, people procrastinate for one of two reasons:

1. What they say they want is something they “should” do but don’t really want to, so they avoid it.
2. What they say they want is something they really want or choose to do but fear, doubt, or some other obstacles are getting in their way.

It is important to understand the distinction between these two scenarios because they hold the clue to whether overcoming procrastination is worth your while. Read the rest of this entry »