As I announced last week this year I am going to blog about my take on each week’s episode of The L Word from a coach’s perspective. Episode 2 heats up with a number of new character developments that made me ask - “what happened in the time we weren’t watching?”. For instance, we now see a much more centered, confident, sans gossip Alice who models some of the best relationship communication we’ve seen on the show yet. She’s always been insightful and witty, but before it was more in a hyper “I’ve had one too many espressos at The Planet” sort of superficial way; this season she seems to have evolved and matured in a big way given she is facing a tricky and all to real relationship challenge with Tasha. More of that storyline from the coach’s perspective coming soon, but this week I’d like to focus on our dear desperate and out of sorts Tina.

Last week we got a glimspe of how great Tina looks in a bikini as we heard her whine about wanting to date again. This week we see confused desperation play out as Tina makes a mess out of a luncheon date. Apparently Tina really wants to date but doesn’t want to let go of her old life with and love for Bette. She spends the entire first date with this woman Denise chatting about Angelica and rambling on about Bette. While I have absolutely zero experience dating, my gut tells me that the best way to make a move toward a second date does not involve fawning over and talking endlessly about your ex while showing pictures of her and your baby. As Denise deftly leaves the situation as fast and politely as possible, her response to Tina when asked about a second date is “I think you have some things to figure out.” She hit the nail on the head!

Often times as we move through big transitions in our lives we forget one of the most important steps we need to take if we want future success and happiness. Read the rest of this entry »

Take a moment to imagine 2008 as the year you finally get
comfortable in your own skin and create the life you
want…

Imagine…

You don’t start it like the usual post-holiday train
wreck…

Imagine…

You skip the resolutions…

Imagine…

You make an investment in YOU, in transformation, so you can
be comfortable in your own skin, anytime, anywhere.

What feels possible when you allow yourself to drop into
this imagining? Do you find yourself:

• Completing projects you’ve always wanted to?
• Stepping out and taking a risk you’ve always dreamed of?
• Building more wealth than ever before?
• Living as out, proud and congruent in your personal and professional
  life as you’ve always dreamed you could?

Go ahead… Take a few moments and just bask in that. It’s
possible you know! When you say, “No it’s not” or “Maybe
for someone but not for me” you are saying a big NO to YOU.

And, that doesn’t feel so great, does it?

I hate to break the news to you but no one is coming to save
you in 2008. Not in 2009, 2010 or the foreseeable century
either.

That means it is up to you to create what you want to see.

Want to know the good news?

You CAN! You absolutely CAN! And, it starts at home-inside
of you. I know because I’ve been there. I’ve said NO to my
life for more years than I can count, but I’ve learned how
to say YES and I’ve learned that I have a knack and skill
for teaching and nurturing others to say yes too.

That’s why I’m offering a 5 week Comfortable in Your Own
Skin Intensive starting February 4th, 2008. Nothing else
compares to this 5 week intensive where together we will
delve into the proven step-by-step Comfortable in Your Own
Skin Coaching Process(tm) and I’ll give you the tools and
awareness to learn how to make it work for you in your life.
You can start wherever you are right now — where you are is
perfect — I’ll be personally coaching you the entire way.

Because you are a regular Coaching4Lesbians reader, I want to offer you an Early Bird
Special. The Intensive is priced at $199, but you can sign
up for the full 5 weeks for only $149 if you register by January 15th.

I’m capping enrollment in this class at 10 people to ensure a close
knit fit in the class and ensure everyone gets personal attention.

To learn the complete details and register go to
http://tinyurl.com/2cjqsm

Ready to serve you,
Paula

P.S. Remember - 2008 is ALREADY HERE! Can you
believe that? Don’t let ‘08 be another year of empty
intentions…make it the year you transform who you are so
you can live the life you are yearning for. Register Today!
http://tinyurl.com/2cjqsm

P.P.S Think about it — a chance to create what you most
desire at the start of a New Year AND with the knowledge,
tools, and personal support you need to make it happen.
What better gift could you give to yourself?

Last night was the big season premiere for round 5 of The L Word. Last year I blogged about the Season 4 Finale with my life coach hat on and had a great time doing so. This year I decided I am going to make it a regular series; much like Mombian does with The Parenting Perspective.

While the show is fiction and filled to the brim with drama (otherwise we’d be asleep on the couch instead of watching, right?) I hope to find some little tidbit or insight in each episode that I can write about through the lens of a coach who works with lesbians on being comfortable in their own skin in their life and their business. While some characters are beyond help (I fall into the Jenny needs help in a padded room sort of way camp), most are just living normal lives or at least as normal as fictional characters in LA can. So, let me know what you think and your opinions by commenting on the posts as the season progresses.

I am going to start off this year on a similar theme to where I left off last March - on the topic of vulnerability and being willing to let go of control.

As you might guess that brings us to our power professional, Bette Porter. While we haven’t seen much of her on the job in recent episodes, her business style is still front and center because she leads her personal life much in the same way as she does at the office - in charge and willing to relinquish control to no one. Not even the woman she is so passionately in love with, Jodi. Read the rest of this entry »

Right before Christmas, our full moon meditation group had their monthly gathering. It was a fine way to really get still and quiet during a time that is typically filled with more rushing and doing than just about any other. We had a small group…some last minute illnesses got the best of several of our dear friends. Yet as always it was a very nourishing and enriching experience.

One of the advantages of having different people host the gatherings is that we get to meet new people who show up because they are friends of the host. This time a neighbor who had not gathered with us attended. It was her first time sitting for a meditation as well. As we went around the circle to start the evening she shyly shared that she is just starting to experience for the first time that her life is more than one dimensional. In the past everything would be black or white, yes or no, but now other possibilities seem to be showing themselves.

I thought this was a powerful comment because I think we all experience life as one dimensional until we… well don’t. Much like the saying that everyone is heterosexual until, well, they discover that they are not. It is the assumed path until something within us realizes that there is a different option meant for us - whatever that might be. Read the rest of this entry »

The weekend before Christmas I had two fine opportunities to ponder the notion of light within the darkness. On the morning of solstice, Kim & I took the long trek to Columcille in the pre-dawn hours so we could share in the sunrise with our dear friends. Of course it was dreary and cloudy but that never deters this group of hardy spiritual travelers that gather regularly among the stones of Columcille. As the time for sunrise came, we gave some hoots and hollers to welcome the sun. Of course we couldn’t actually see it. But we took stock in the notion that even though we can’t see the sun, it is there just doing its thing. It is shining its light even though we can’t see it directly. It is always there. There is always light shining in the darkness even when we can’t see it with our own eyes.

Because we don’t actually see it, does that mean we don’t believe it is actually there? That is foolish. Most would agree that even when we can’t see the sun it is there behind the clouds just shining away. Anyone who has ever taken a commercial flight that took off in the overcast cloudy skies and then climbed to 30,000+ feet where it was sunny knows that the sun is there. We just can’t see it from our vantage point. Yet we can still believe in it and benefit from its light and know it is there. There is comfort, connection, and joy in that knowing. It is a worthwhile lesson to remember not only on cloudy day in December but whenever you may feel doubt creeping in to your heart because of sorrow, loss, darkness, or just plain uncertainty on life’s journey. We don’t have to see it to believe in it. And, once we start believing we can start creating what we most want. Read the rest of this entry »