We often feel great fear and get woefully uncomfortable in our own skin when faced with the task of speaking our own truth. Whether it is coming out or letting our personal beliefs known, it can be frightening to be that vulnerable. What if people hate me? What if it makes my whole career crash and burn?

Two recent news stories reminded me that even if the worse outcome happens, it is still for the best. In the end your integrity and truth matter far more than any one job, relationship, or the court of public opinion. And, she who has the courage to stand up for her truth in the face of adversity will ultimately win out even if it takes a little longer than we might like.

Last night, the Dixie Chicks won five Grammy awards essentially showing the world that speaking your truth, even if unpopular, doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Four years ago they ignited major controversy (not to mention death threats, radio boycotts, and concert bans) when they spoke their minds on the topic of President Bush and the Iraq war. While you may or may not agree with their opinions, the fact is, many people fought and died for our rights as Americans to speak our truth. Why then, do we tend to crucify people when they speak up? Their song “Not Ready to Make Nice” is an unapologetic anthem to their right to speak their truth and with five Grammy awards including best album for “Taking the Long Way Home”, I’m certain they now not only feel good for standing up for their own integrity but also for this outside validation of their courage.

In the latest issue of W Magazine, Ellen Degeneres appears on the cover. In the online interview she talks about her lowest lows following the backlash of her coming out on the Ellen show. Personally and professionally she took a bit hit and hit bottom. Yet, never once did she regret having come out. In fact, she considers the whole ordeal a blessing “Because I got to learn that I was strong enough to start over again.” Of course, now Ellen is on top of the world with her talk show and hosting the Oscars. It proves that speaking your truth pays off in the end because not only do you get to stay in integrity with yourself but you ultimately show up in your career and personal life from a much more couragous and authentic space. That in and of itself is part of what success is really about.

How about you? Are you living and speaking your truth?

Our bodies hold the clues to what we are really feeling. They harbor the answers to the tough questions we often struggle to answer. The problem is, this world is a “thinking world” and we’ve learned to dismiss our bodies entirely figuring what they have to say doesn’t hold a candle in credibility to thoughts, facts, rationalizations, and other people’s opinions. The problem with dismissing our bodies however is that we actually have to LIVE in then for our duration here on the planet and if you’re not listening to its messages you can rest assured that it will rebel.

As someone who has made some incongruent choices in my life, I have firsthand experience with ignoring my body’s signals. As a result over the years I’ve had the distinct pleasure of experiencing bouts of nagging illness, chronic pain, anxiety, panic attacks, and injuries that could have easily been prevented. And I got whacked with these gems as a result of just persevering, making the best of it, listening to others, rationalizing, and following the stupid mantra of ‘no pain/no gain’.

That’s the bad news. The good news is Read the rest of this entry »

In the December 2006 issue of Out Magazine, Martina Navratilova is profiled as one of the “100 Men and Women Who Rocked 2006″. In the article is a quote from Martina that so very much sums up my philosophy on coming out.

“If you don’t come out, you are living in a self-inflicted prison. That is no way to live.”

Trying to be someone you’re not and living a lie is a self-inflicted prison whether it pertains to your sexuality or any other part of your authentic self. And, I know for a fact that from a self-inflicted prison it is pretty darn hard to truly be successful. Oh, you might “fool ‘em” for a while and experience some external trappings of success, but at what cost? And eventually the truth comes around full circle one way or another.

You might think… that’s easy for her to say, she’s Martina after all — tennis goddess, fit, beautiful, successful, established in her career. That is all true now, but not at the time she boldly went where no woman ever went before in professional tennis and publicly came out. Not only did she risk her entire career but she also risked her home and safety because of the conditions in her native country. And, my bet is she pissed off more than her fair share of people in the US as well. But, could you see Martina being anyone but Martina? Not really, and that is the beauty of being authentic.

It takes courage to come out but courage is a small price to pay for feeling free and confident in who you are. Are you feeling like a prisoner in one or more areas of your life? If so, what are you waiting for? If you’re scared or unsure, that is certainly understandable. If that’s the case, get the support you need — a trusted friend, therapist, online resource, or coach – and start taking steps to remove the walls that keep you stuck in a life that doesn’t quite feel right.

It seems everywhere you turn someone is ogling at a celebrity or famous person. We spend more time worrying about the details of other peoples lives than we do our own. We hear a speaker, listen to a musician, or see a movie and think, “Wow, I wish I could be like her!” Well, you CAN. And in many ways you already ARE.

Do this Exercise:

1. Think of three people that you admire and write their names down. They can be people you know or someone famous.
2. List what qualities they possess that attract your admiration.
3. Now, ask yourself — where in your life do you demonstrate these same qualities (either now or in the past)?

Read the rest of this entry »

“Who would you be if you couldn’t be a dancer? What would you do then?” That is what the character Zach asks the group in a poignant moment in the Broadway musical A Chorus Line. The question stops them dead in their tracks and avoiding the inevitable emotions that come with such a powerful question.

On Wednesday I took a rare mid-week respite to head to New York City since my partner was attending a training class there. We got lucky and scored lottery tickets which were second row mezzanine, dead-center. (Lottery tickets, also called “Rush” seats are tickets sold at a major bargain the day of certain shows using a “put your name in a hat approach”.)

You just have to love A Chorus Line as the quintessential musical about what it is like to be a dancer at auditions for the chorus. In the span of two hours the cast share their fears, quirks, dreams, and talent as they put it all on the line for a chance to get a job doing what they love and what they live for. Read the rest of this entry »