I had a most fabulous time on my vacation in Maine. I love the location, the weather, the solitude. We spent a week on Monhegan Island which is a very special place but only if it is the right match for you. Part of its appeal is its ruggedness, rustic charm, lack of people, lack of modern amenities (think- no cell phone service), and a chance to get back to a real rhythm of life. On our last afternoon there, the sun started to peek through the fog. From our vantage point in the harbor and in the woods, the zip of the unsettled weather the night before was long gone. Not so on the eastern tip of the island. It had waves like I never saw waves before. I was happy as a clam sitting on a rock watching them all afternoon as you can see from this photo. Squnting aside, it was a very calming and energizing way to spend a few hours.

Looking back at this picture (and the gobs of wave photos I took) it got me to thinking about how quickly change can come upon us. Just like this afternoon that went from fairly calm waves to crashing waves, so too goes the events of our life. I only have to look at the last 2 weeks to see just how much churning has been going on in my life. I returned from our trip all mellow and ready for an easy transition back to regular daily life. Well, in the course of less than 2 weeks, I got laid off, learned my Dad had to have another heart procedure, learned all was well, traveled to visit him, found out he was unexpectedly back in the hospital, waited for tests results, and gladly received the call that he was back home and doing fine. Whew! That’s a lot of wave churning going on. Add to that a bunch of activities related to my business transition, clients, a few networking events, and an energizing teleclass on Tuesday and you get the picture….Calm seas, rough seas, unexpected rogue waves, placid moments, crashing surf, and back again. Read the rest of this entry »

It may sound silly but one of the most important things we can do to manage stress and remain comfortable in our own skin is to BREATHE. A deep breath that anchors us into the moment and stops the whirlwind of chaotic little voices of panic and dread that seem to crop up in our heads like little gremlins in times of stress. I am kindly reminded of this right now due to the sheer number of things happening all at once in my life.

As most of you know, returning to work from vacation is busy enough. Add to that the whole layoff thing and a number of new business related opportunities and things have been hopping at my household. What I am noticing though is that I am so focused on getting things done, connecting with other people, and managing the details that I am forgetting to breathe. Sure I am taking my usual “me” time in terms of meditation, exercise, and yoga, but in between those down-times, I am allowing myself to get cranked up. When I get bitchy at little things I know it is time to STOP and BREATHE. The bitchy meter hit some high notes today. Ask my bluetooth headset that broke today, it regrets ticking me off.

It is funny but simply noticing I am holding my breath or rushing is enough to start getting me centered. I immediately feel better, more in control, and more confident. Simply through breath and awareness. Sounds simplistic but I can tell you that I’m facing a number of those real-life “life happens” things all at once and it REALLY does work. It’s not just some mumbo-jumbo that sounds good on paper or when some motivational guru speaks it. It is rubber meets the road, real-life tools for thriving. If you’re not breathing and you’re not in the present moment there’s no way you are going to be powerful or comfortable in your own skin. Think about it — if you are totally anaerobic and winded working out are you at your best mentally? I don’t think so. I LOVE to exercise and work out, but I know when I am sucking wind climbing a hill on my bike is NOT the time to be creative or highly thought filled. If you’re stumbling through your work day feeling like a hamster on a wheel or like a heart patient having a stress test, you need to back off. Stop, breathe, re-assess and handle only what is right in front of you, right now.

How about you? Do you remember to stop and breathe as you go about your day? How about during times of stress? Strike up a conversation in the comments and let me know…

What are you putting up with? What is sapping your energy day in and day out? Who or what are you simply tolerating? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and a lack of zip, handling what is bugging you can refill your tank faster than a trip to the gas station.

Tolerations are typically small things that we put up with on a daily basis that sap our energy and keep us stuck. When our attention is taken up by these little “problems” we aren’t free to just flow with the moment and we’re not open to receiving the good stuff we want in our life because our energy and focus is on something we don’t want. Over time these irritations build up until they become a show-stopper or we simply blow our top because we can’t take it any more. Ever have something minor like a cat hairball on the rug or a burned out light bulb suddenly send you over the edge into a brief rage of lunacy? Most likely it is because of the compounding of little tolerations that have gotten on your nerves until you just can’t take it anymore.

Your goal is to put up with less and less. Read the rest of this entry »

Last night was the first of five episodes of the Ex-Wives Club on ABC. Now, I next to never have time for watching TV and even when I do I rarely watch any reality type shows. I think Survivor a handful of years ago was the last time I followed a reality show. However, with my mentor Debbie Ford appearing as the expert life coach on the series, I was not about to miss it.

The show introduces two people (each week) whose lives have been torn apart by divorce. Throughout the course of the show Debbie along with the Ex-Wives team of Angie Everhart, Shar Jackson, and Marla Maples help the participants get clear of the past, rebuild their lives from the inside out, and venture out into the world again.

In my ideal world we’d have at least one whole episode of the Ex-Wives Club dedicated to the devastaing breakups of gay and lesbian relationships. (Hey ABC, if you’re listening, there are millions of us out here waiting to see just this very thing.) After all, just because the law doesn’t recognize us, the intensity and importance of our relationships are on equal par with any marriage out there. Sometimes we are even more invested in our relationships Read the rest of this entry »

This past weekend Kim & I went to Rehoboth Beach for our annual May long weekend at the beach. With all that is going on in our lives and my business, we couldn’t wait until the time to head south came. When Thursday morning arrived, we ripped out of the driveway like people with pants on fire ready to just get away from it all.

We always have a good time in the town. While we’re not into the bar scene, we are into the fine dining, food, and getting away on the beach and in our kayaks. Of course the LGBT community is strong and visible there which makes it feel very homey. No having to explain to crazy hotel clerks — yes we only need a queen bed, no twin beds wouldn’t be more convenient. The simple pleasures…

I have found that much of life’s mysteries can be explored and big life decisions made while walking on the beach for mile after sandy mile. It is one of my favorite things to do and has been since I was a kid. As a big kid now, I have yet another seaside passion and that is paddling my kayak in the back bays. Read the rest of this entry »