Last Saturday I had the pleasure of doing my first build day on site with Habitat for Humanity Bucks County Women Build. While I really enjoyed the seminars earlier this year I didn’t know what to expect from the day. All I knew was that I had set my intention to do whatever was needed, have a good time serving others while working on a team, and make whatever I got assigned to do into a meditation and learning experience. Good news is that I managed to do all of the above!

I ended up working on the team assigned to laying cinder block foundation. So I spent the day digging hard soil (lots of rocks in this area as I know from my own yard), chipping away mortar, mixing concrete, and laying block. While I was initially frustrated, it did indeed get better as my crew leaders had promised. I might add my crew leaders were the best — the right mix of helping, encouraging, and letting you learn as you go. What I kept thinking about for most of the day as I did the work was this famous Zen story:

“Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water.”

What that means is that the tasks are the same, but who you are being as you do the tasks is totally different. While I am certainly not claiming enlightenment, I can say that I am so much better at being clear, open, and present with a task than I ever was before. Even tasks that are exhausting and not quite my cup of tea. Instead I did my best to approach it with the bigger picture in mind — serving families in need of decent housing and with the mindset that anything you do can be a meditation if you choose to allow it to be. And, when you do that a whole new world opens up to you.

I am certainly not going to turn to masonry as a career any day soon. In fact when one of the crew asked me if I wanted to make block laying my new career, I jokingly said “I’ll choose root canal or death!”. What I did gain was a whole new respect for people who work in construction or some sort of physical trade. I also was reminded how crazy busy my mind is, how quickly I get bored and frustrated when things aren’t going according to my expectations, and just how soft we all get with totally sedentary jobs.

While I am just now getting over being extremely sore (reminds me that while I am in good shape…hiking, biking, kayaking and weight lifting do not directly translate into block laying) — I am eager to go back and do another build day in June during their Women Build A Thon. First, I must get busy raising money so I can do so.

I highly recommend checking out a Women Build in your area. It is incredibly satisfying and amazingly empowering.

Can you answer that question quickly and with a nice long list? If you can’t you’re not alone. So many people really struggle with this question. If I asked you the question “What do you dislike about yourself?” Would the answers flow freely and make a long list? If so, again, you have lots of company.

What got me thinking about this topic again was our monthly full moon gathering. We each were asked to bring to the circle a list of 2-3 things we love about ourselves and 1-2 qualities we would really like to focus on shifting for the better (aka things we don’t like as much or wish we were better at). When we met, we each got to share and talk about our list and light a candle to hold these intentions.

Once again I got to experience firsthand the power of watching wonderful people struggle so much to acknowledge things they love about themselves while quickly jumping right to the “don’t like/need to improve” list. I have seen it so many times — as a participant and assistant at Debbie Ford’s Shadow Process, in my clients, my friends, and definitely myself.

What fascinates me is how when one person speaks in the group and struggles with finding qualities she loves about herself, the others present can so quickly name those qualities. “You are compassionate! You are a passionate woman! You are so giving and charitable! You are creative and talented! You are loving!” The positive qualities just flow effortlessly from the group. Yet, the minute the question gets turned back on us, we freeze like deer in the headlights, mutter a bit, turn our gaze downward, and say “um, hmmm, I don’t know”.

Read the rest of “What Do You Love About Yourself?” at my articles archive…

This week was January’s full moon meditation gathering for our community. It is always a nourishing and enlightening time with amazing people. This month’s lesson for me was the paradoxical realization that sometimes you can actually use the chaos swirling around you to find your center. And, surprisingly it can almost be easier to get centered the more chaos that is present. How crazy is that?

Let me explain…When we meet we always spend 30 minutes or so in silent mindfulness meditation. Usually it is very quiet. Occasionally there is some ambient noise going on from pets being sequestered or the kids amusing themselves in the other room. This month was crazy surrounding noises times ten. Now, it’s not because our host did anything different or odd to have the funny series of sound come into our space, it simply happened (or perhaps we just attracted it).

So, instead of the usual mostly dead silence for 30 minutes, we had intermittent chaos. Read the rest of this entry »

Not that long ago I finished reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s bestselling book “Eat, Pray, Love”. I had first stumbled upon it in the tiny (and only) café store on Monhegan Island this summer. It sounded intriguing but when I went back to purchase it there were none left. I didn’t remember the author or the book title, just something basic about a woman traveling to several countries alone over the course of a year and that it was a true soul searching sort of book (my favorite kind!).

Then, as divine timing would have it, in September Oprah was talking about the book and had Gilbert on as a guest. I knew it was the same book and I waited for an upcoming trip with my family so I could cajole my Mom into buying it for me (yes, an only child at 38 still does these sorts of things!). All I could say is I devoured the book. To me it is the kind you can’t put down and one of those rare books that taps into the deep, rich questions of what it means to live and does so in such an authentic voice and down to earth way. Read the rest of this entry »

Right before Christmas, our full moon meditation group had their monthly gathering. It was a fine way to really get still and quiet during a time that is typically filled with more rushing and doing than just about any other. We had a small group…some last minute illnesses got the best of several of our dear friends. Yet as always it was a very nourishing and enriching experience.

One of the advantages of having different people host the gatherings is that we get to meet new people who show up because they are friends of the host. This time a neighbor who had not gathered with us attended. It was her first time sitting for a meditation as well. As we went around the circle to start the evening she shyly shared that she is just starting to experience for the first time that her life is more than one dimensional. In the past everything would be black or white, yes or no, but now other possibilities seem to be showing themselves.

I thought this was a powerful comment because I think we all experience life as one dimensional until we… well don’t. Much like the saying that everyone is heterosexual until, well, they discover that they are not. It is the assumed path until something within us realizes that there is a different option meant for us - whatever that might be. Read the rest of this entry »