I’ve talked about tolerations before those little and big things we just put up with that sap our energy, often without us even knowing it. I was reminded of this very thing recently as we kept procrastinating about cleaning out our refrigerator. Not just throwing things out but truly taking every last piece of food and shelving out and really cleaning it up.
It probably went on for several months…opening the fridge and saying “We really need to clean it out” and then shutting it and ignoring it. It wasn’t filthy, but it had a few sticky spots here, a few marks there. And as the late George Carlin once said in one of his routines about the funky stuff you find in the fridge - “look here’s some dried up fault ridden pudding skin!”. Those science experiments that inevitably crop up, typically in the furthest reaches of the fridge.
So last Sunday, after opening a tupperware that was in there and discovering some old shredded apple that was furrier than Robin Williams’ back, we decided the time had come.
It only took us around 30-45 minutes and in that time we were able to clean everything inside and out in the fridge and freezer. Using a great and earth friendly concoction of baking soda and water every last mark and mess came clean easily. We were able to toss the questionable Asian condiments that had no expiration date marked on them, consolidate items, and generally rearrange the stuff.
In the end I can say it felt SO good!
While I don’t suggest becoming a clean freak, the art of elimination and handling things that bug you right away can be a huge energy saver. Not to mention doing a small project like this is great for bringing yourself into integrity and opening the doorway for new things to flow into your life - opportunities, business, money, whatever. There may not SEEM to be a connection, but trust me, there is. When you clean up the things you are tolerating it sets the wheels in motion for good things.
Whether you engage in something like an integrity day where you set aside a whole day to handle tolerations or simply vow to handle one a week, you will create space, momentum, and plain old feel much much better.
This week I thought about this question quite a bit. As a lover of nature and especially animals, I was struck with a conflict. As I was mowing the lawn on Monday I startled a sick and injured robin. It hobbled toward a tree and just sat there. I watched this poor thing sit there scared and hop back and forth attempting to fly, fluttering into the neighbor’s fence, and basically sitting still with its head drooped.
It just pained me to no end to watch this. I thought for sure by morning it would have died. In fact I even dug a mini grave for it in anticipation. However, it was still alive. Now you have to realize that I watch the birds all day in our backyard. I can see them from my office, I see them as I sit on the porch, and notice them from every window of every room. I love to see them and hear them chirp and sing. While my parents hate the woodpecker in their yard I welcome the rat-tat-tat. I’ve always found even the most ordinary bird amazing. This tiny being who can do so much – sing, chirp, build nests, lay eggs, nurture young, and fly. I mean really, humans may have opposable thumbs, but…
So here I sat with a schedule full of appointments and business and I couldn’t get my mind and heart off this bird. My partner then called to tell me of a local wild bird rehabilitation center she found online. So I called them. She suggested I bring the bird in. So there I was constructing a shoe box with newspapers, a double bagged zip lock with warm water to comfort the bird, and gently picking up this suffering creature to lay him in it for transport. With a bunch of air holes and a rock on top to secure the lid, off I went to drive 30 minutes to try and help it.
Today I was catching up on some blog reading & happened to see this post. I don’t tend to take the time to watch a lot of video online. After all the vast amount to choose from is immense. Yet this one caught my eye and my heart.
It is a video (Part 2 of 3) of a series from a teen challenge day. Watch in amazement at the reaction of even the bullies. As someone who was bullied a lot as a kid and even an adult for being different, something I would bet all LGBT folks can relate to, it is an emotional flashback. All too often this same sort of judgment and harsh words extends well into adulthood. The workplace and even our families are unfortunately just an extension of this very environment.
The one girl says it best - It just seems so natural to say these hurtful things, tease, and judge. We think it is harmless, but it is not. I have to add — the same holds true for our own self-talk…how many of us are our own worst bully?
Press play to start watching. You may need a few tissues to get through it and I guarantee you’ll want to say I’m sorry to those you’ve hurt with your words and judgments. I know I am sorry.
When I coach people around self-care their initial reaction is “but I can’t because I’ll feel guilty, and my kids need me, and my partner needs me…”. Then I ask - But if you don’t take care of YOU, how will you have anything to give them?
Women especially feel extra guilty about taking time for self. They see it as selfish. Selfish has gotten a bad wrap! It has gotten associated with self-absorbed which is an animal of another color.
As I see it selfish as defined as “taking care of yourself”. It is actually one of the most selfless things you can do. It is a gift to give to those you love because when you are at your peak…you can be present and give of yourself to them 100%.
How many times do you find yourself being half-present for whatever you are doing? Maybe you’re at your kids sporting or other event but find yourself tapping away on your blackberry and taking cell phone calls. Perhaps you are taking a stroll with your partner but find yourself ruminating over 100 things from at work. Do you ever feel guilty about that? Most don’t even realize they are doing it and certainly don’t feel guilty rationalizing “you gotta do what you gotta do”.
What if…for just a month…you tried out putting yourself first. Maybe 15 minutes of quiet in the morning and another 15 at night. An hour or two just for you once a week. A date night with your partner so you can connect and re-member why you make a great couple. Read the rest of this entry »
A few weeks ago during the May Full Moon, our group gathered for monthly meditation with the theme of the flower moon on our mind. The idea being that it is spring, a time of new birth, a time to till the soil, nurture what we plant, and watch it grow. As part of making this ritual more tangible, one member brought several herb plants for each person to take home and care for.
As we considered our plants that night some great questions arose:
What seeds are you currently planting in your life?
How are you nurturing those seeds and yourself as you wait for them to flourish?
Can you be patient as they take root and grow?
Can you still love and accept yourself even if despite all your best efforts they do not grow?
All great questions that can be applied to both the individual little herb plants we took with us that night as well as to the bigger picture within each of our lives. We are always planting seeds and growing. Sometimes it looks like a new career, striking out in your own business, a new business deal, a new relationship, moving to a new home, and so forth. The possibilities are endless as we are constantly in the cycle of getting ideas, planting them, nurturing, harvesting, and letting go as we transition yet again. Yet how often do we consciously notice how we are being – in relationship to ourselves, to the seed we are planting, to each other, and to the world at large? And, how do those relationships shift depending on whether things are going our way/according to plan or not?
before those little and big things we just put up with that sap our energy, often without us even knowing it. I was reminded of this very thing recently as we kept procrastinating about cleaning out our refrigerator. Not just throwing things out but truly taking every last piece of food and shelving out and really cleaning it up.
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